Nicole arrived back home last night after a month in Ethiopia. We're so glad to have her home! She's a little thinner, but no worse for wear. She didn't stop talking from the moment we met her at the airport until she went to bed at 10:30 - and I'm sure this morning she'll pick up where she left off last night. It was a summer of adventure, lots of rain and cold, and plenty of faith tests from the Lord. My folks also arrived yesterday to spend a week with us here in the mountains - their first time to see our home and to meet the whole "gang" of precious friends that God has given us here in Conifer.
All the stories that Nicole is telling us from her trip to Africa remind me of the many summer projects I took part in during college - and I remember some of the most intense, faith-building experiences I've ever experienced happened during those projects. One of those involved a very serious car accident where I rolled a Toyota Land Cruiser several times up in the Northern Frontier District of Kenya. By God's supernatural protection, neither I nor Raphael (my traveling companion) were seriously injured - other than a badly bruised shoulder for me and some deep cuts for Raphael. With no cell phones or any means to communicate back to the base camp, we were simply forced to trust the Lord and wait until help came along. And help did come, and our faith grew, and more adventures awaited us. At every turn, and with every test I thought there was no way God could come through - but He always did. The tests He has brought our way have changed over the years, but they're no less challenging than those of my earlier days. I'm reading in John 6 this morning where the story is told of Jesus feeding the five thousand. My favorite line of that story is in verse 5:
"Therefore Jesus, lifting up His eyes and seeing that a large crowd was coming to Him, said to Phillip, 'Where are we to buy bread, so that these may eat?' This He was saying to test him, for He Himself knew what He was intending to do."
I take great comfort from this verse today. Jesus already knew what He was going to do, but He wanted to know if Phillip was with Him or not. Jesus presented Phillip with an impossible task - to provide food for 5,000+ men, women and children. It seems unfair when you first read it, because Phillip could never in his wildest dreams come up with the money to buy enough food for that crowd. Jesus saw the crowd, saw an opportunity, and turned to Phillip to say, "Phil, these people need to eat. What are we going to do?" Phillip answered in probably the same way I would have - by going to the human solution of money, and concluding that it was impossible. The story could have stopped there, and Jesus could have simply dismissed the crowd to go back to their homes or nearby villages to find food. But it says earlier in the passage that He already knew what He was intending to do. It also encourages me that it didn't matter how Phillip or Andrew responded to the "crisis" because Jesus was going to provide for them all whether they passed this test or not. The test wasn't whether Jesus could feed 5,000 people or not; the test was all about whether Phillip would respond in faith. I imagine it would have blessed Jesus to hear Phillip say, "Well Lord, I have no idea how we're going to feed all these people - but I know you can do it, and I can't wait to see what you have in mind!"
Our Faith Journey as a family has reached yet one more "feeding of the 5,000" stage. I believe with all my heart that the Lord brought us here. I believe He provided this home to allow us to provide a place of rest and encouragement for many disheartened saints. I believe He led us to Journey Church because He wants to use us in this mountain community. And I believe we haven't even begun to see or understand all that He has in mind for our lives. But today, we face a challenge, and we don't have a human solution. Yesterday I checked our bank account and I was stunned to see how quickly we are eating up our savings. The amount of support we receive simply isn't sufficient to cover the expenses. We purchased a high deductible health insurance plan to lower our monthly premiums, but this means we're hit with several thousand dollars of medical claims that we have to cover ourselves. We're also trying to refinance our home loan to lower our monthly premiums, and we're planning to sell one of our vehicles and a few other items to help in the short term. Our Storm Guides business has yet to bring in any income, and I have not yet been successful in selling any artwork. In the face of all these challenges, I can imagine Jesus saying to us, "Jim & Daphne, you face some impossible obstacles; what are you going to do? How are you going to 'work' this one out?" Yet all the while Jesus knows Himself what He is intending to do.
As I've said before, this journey of trusting the Lord day by day has never been as real as it is right now. Whatever short-term solutions I can come up with (sell a car, sell belongings, etc) will only relieve our cash-flow crisis for a time. What we're facing right now, today, is the faith-test of trusting that we did follow the Shepherd's voice to this place, and that we can trust Him one day at a time. And you know what? I'm really OK with where we are. Sure, I have my moments when I fear what we may lose; but I've seen God provide so many times, in so many miraculous, unexpected ways that I really can't wait to see what He has in mind this time. If we can't trust Him right here, right now, with this test of faith, then what in the world have we learned over the past 20 years?
So we hold on today, believing that He knows Himself what He is intending to do. "Don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
What an adventure!
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