Bread from Heaven

"I am the bread of life; he who comes to Me will not hunger, and he who believes in me will never thirst."  John 6:35

People haven't really changed that much over the centuries.   People followed Jesus around because He gave them free food, and occasionally He would heal a few of them.  They saw Him as a handy vending machine to distribute whatever they needed - and they could come and go as they pleased; no commitment, no relationship.  They went to great lengths and effort to find Him when He disappeared for awhile - "Hey Jesus, you're supposed to be here to meet all my needs!"  But as soon as Jesus challenged their consumer attitude and started talking about following Him out of passion and from a deep sense of their own need for a Savior, they started grumbling; "Wait a minute, isn't this the guy we know from Nazareth?  We know His family, and they're all normal people."  Just because Jesus switched from giving them bread, to saying "I AM the bread of life" - they took offense at Him.

I spoke to a woman on the phone the other day - I'll say her name is Barb (names changed to protect the innocent).  She'd come into the Llama Diner probably half a dozen times looking for "Pastor Jim".  For some reason I was always absent when she showed up.  About a month ago I ran into her (figuratively speaking) in the parking lot of our building around 7 a.m. on a Saturday morning.  I was there to meet a friend to go fishing, and she was there because her old Toyota 4 X 4 was overheating.  We talked for a few minutes about what might be wrong with her car (me being the expert mechanic that I am), and then we all left in different directions.  The staff at the diner would tell me this gal was looking for me, and I couldn't figure out what she could want.  Finally someone gave me her number and said, "PLEASE call her - she seems desperate to talk to you."  When I did call, she initially said, "Oh, I just wanted to ask you where to find the fuel line in my truck."  Strange.  But then she went into her life story, and all her woes about her truck breaking down, and her Mom's health problems, and how her Mom is being abused by her Step-Dad...  and I realized that she just wanted to pour out her heart to someone (and perhaps was hoping for a hand-out from the church).  She kept saying, "I just need God's help to get another car" or for God to help her Mom, or for God to give her a better job.  Every time I said, "Well Barb, you're going to have to trust Jesus with this - can you do that?", She would change the subject and go back to what God should do for her. 

I guess I do the same thing to the Lord.  When He challenges me to love Him and trust Him for Who He Is, rather than for what He does - I get uncomfortable.  He's asking us to trust Him now - even though we have no solution for my RLS, and no financial security for the future.  I'm feeling challenged right now, because when people ask me how I'm doing, I would like to go into my own pity-party about insomnia and fatigue - rather than having my focus on the incredible things God is teaching us in the midst of all this.  It's not a question of being vulnerable about where we're struggling or not, but rather about where my heart REALLY is today. 

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A couple of the single guys from the church team came over to help me get some more work done on the back deck before my folks arrive on Sunday.  They were a great help, and I worked them hard.  We rebuilt the stairs leading from the upper deck to the lower one, and go about 1/3 of the way to rebuilding the railing on the lower deck.  While I'm grateful for their physical help, I loved having time just to talk, tell jokes, listen to some great classic rock from Lynerd Skynerd and the Eagles.  The church staff stay really busy, and it's often hard for us to figure out how to get to know them on a deeper level.  So one way I've discovered is to get them to help me with a project, and then I've got them for several hours (I call it "Stealth Relationships").  I love these kids - they're full of passion and excitement about where God is taking the church, and their enthusiasm is contagious.  I just know from our past experiences that we can be so engaged in "The Mission" that we lose sight of the wonderful richness of going deeper in our relationships - and I don't want to make that mistake again.