Get to the bottom of the problem (pardon the pun)

Daphne and I are sitting in the waiting room of the Children's Hospital procedure center in Denver, waiting for Jacqueline to go in for an Endoscopy and Colonoscopy.  We're hoping and praying that this procedure will shed more light on her ongoing abdominal pains, and help us to understand why she remains way below the curve in her weight gain.  She's understandably nervous, but having endured a colonoscopy in Senegal with no anaesthesia, I'm telling her that she'll simply wake up after a few minutes and not know anything has happened.  It's basically a drug-induced nap - which I wouldn't mind having several times a week!  The difference in the admissions system and the care & attention of the staff between here and France is incredible.  While I never doubted the knowledge or experience of the doctors in France, their "bedside" manner and the care of the hospital staff left much to be desired.  Different world, different cultures.  We've already seen five different people (doctor, nurse, anesthesiologist, etc), each of whom sat down with us, explained what is going to happen, answered all our questions - wow, what a difference.  Jacqueline even gets to choose the "flavor" of the gas they'll give her to put her out... she chose Skittles. 

We just went in to the O.R. to be with her while she went to sleep.  Kind of a strange experience, because her eyes stayed open even after she was out.  Hopefully we'll have some helpful news after an hour or so.

Two days ago I drove an hour and a half down to Elizabeth, CO to take part in handgun course put on by Defensive Response Training.  It either rained or drizzled all day long, but I had a blast.  I took my .357 revolver with me, although it is too big to be easily carried or concealed.  I ended up using one of the semi-automatic pistols that the instructor brought with him.  They taught us how to handle the guns safely, how to load and unload quickly, and practiced shooting from several different positions - including one position where we stood with our head against the target, leaned forward, and shot several rounds while holding the gun back and high up against our chest to simulate a close-combat situation.  I was afraid I was going to shoot myself in the foot (didn't, obviously) but the shock wave from firing the guns up close like that was amazing.  The purpose of the course is to teach you how to handle your gun safely, and how to use it in the unlikely event that you feel threatened with serious bodily injury or death.  It was great fun, and I learned a lot.  I am planning to take another, more advanced course of the same nature in a couple of weeks. 

After our last "straight talk" conversation with Karine, we've seen a significant change in her demeanor and her outlook on life.  She's started spending a lot of time at the church building/restaurant, either helping in the kitchen or helping wherever the church team needs her help.  I am very grateful for her change of mindset, and I am praying that this represents a genuine heart change.  Parenting teenagers is a whole new ball-game; somehow I missed it when they passed out the parenting manuals for teens.  We told Karine that our role has changed from that of only a parent, to more the role of a coach.  As a coach we can't tell her what to do, or control her behavior when she's away from us; all we can do is encourage her to make the right choices, and impose sanctions on her when she makes wrong choices (take away privileges, restrict computer time etc).  She calls that Punishment.  I call it Consequences to her choices.  When I consider the problems that so many parents in our church are dealing with (drugs, pregnancies, suicide) I thank God for our girls.  These issues are really insignificant when I look at them in the grand scheme of life.

Signing off for now, as we wait for Jacqueline to come out of the O.R.

Mama Bear

Our pastor Michael and his family moved in next door yesterday, and we're excited to have them close by now.  While the team were unpacking and putting things away in the house, Amy took her two boys and our neighbor's son Jesse to walk to Jesse's house (about a quarter mile down the road).  On the way there, they surprised a mother bear who came up out of the culvert where she'd been drinking, and then two cubs popped up behind her.  Jesse's lived up here his whole life, so he yelled at the bear -- and she looked at him for a moment, then turned and walked down the hill.  So, there ARE bears up here, even though we haven't seen them since we moved in.  This happened only a few hundred yards from our house.  Michael was thrilled to know the bears are here, because he's been wanting to see one ever since moving to Colorado.  Now I expect him to start putting bait out to lure them in!  I will say that knowing the bears are around makes us more hesitant to let Jacqueline and her friends play outside on their own - they would make a nice mid-day snack for a hungry bear.  Actually - I know the risk of an unprovoked attack by a black bear are pretty slim; the greater risk would come from cougars, and they seem to be even rarer around here than bears.  I guess this is all part of learning to live safely with wildlife all around us.

It is now possible to download the sermon I preached at Journey from itunes:  you would just need to do a search for "Michael Cheshire", which will bring up the site for Journey Community Church, and my message is called "Joseph #5".  I'll be preaching again the first two weeks in July, and the first three weeks in August.  I don't yet know what I want to preach on - and it's easy for me to get stressed-out trying to choose a theme for a sermon.  Funny how worried and anxious we can get over things that are of little "weight" in life.  I'm not saying that choosing the right message isn't important (who wants to look like an idiot in front of the whole church, right?), but one of my greatest struggles has always been letting fear and anxiety dominate my waking (and sometimes my sleeping) hours.  My brother John and I had a long phone conversation about this very topic a couple of days ago - of what it means to truly rest in the Lord and His deep love and care for us.  John taught the adult Sunday School class at his church last week, and he asked the class what the opposite of "Rest" is.  Most of them replied, "Work".  But by the Biblical definition, the real antonym of Rest is Fear, not work.  It's fear that robs us of enjoying the rest that Jesus promised us - rest here, now, in this life; all the time, in all circumstances.  He's already clearly promised us that He will take care of what we need to eat, to drink, and to wear (in other words, all of our daily needs).  He's also promised His perfect peace in the midst of trouble, and that He wants to be yoked with us so that He can bear the weight of our burdens for us. But fear is the greatest enemy of our peace.  I worry about how we'll make it financially if Storm Guides in not a success.  I also worry about our girls, and how they are being influenced by the world around them, or how we'll pay for the house renovations we still need to do, or whether I'm really qualified to serve as a pastor of Journey Church. . . and the list goes on.  Perhaps the most disheartening thing of all is that when I look around me, I can't think of more than a couple of Christians who  seem to genuinely experience this supernatural peace on a daily basis.  Most of us live harried, stressful, weary lives that are filled up with activities and busyness... never really grasping what Jesus is offering to us, and what He in fact promised to provide: a life free from worry and anxiety, and full of faith and expectancy for how God is going to take care of all our needs.  "But seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness, and ALL THESE THINGS will be given to you as well."

Yesterday was our 19th anniversary, and I would have to call it a day of Walking in the Light.  Daph and I had a difficult and emotional conversation with Karine in the afternoon that ended very well, but it was one of those conversations that you pray you'll only need to have once in your parenting career.  We're realizing that as our girls move into their older teenage years, our role changes from that of a parent/disciplinarian to more the role of a coach.  I am so grateful for how Karine responded, and I can see now that the Lord had been preparing her heart to receive what we needed to share as coming from hearts full of love for her, and as a warning from the Lord for her to make an "about face" now while she can. 

Then last night Daph and I went out for dinner at a quaint mountain Inn called the "Brook Forest Lodge" not too far from where we live.  As we started in on our main course, she asked me a question about how I thought I will be able to handle Mike's (our pastor) strong character - could I stand up to him and disagree without backing down if necessary?  I did not respond well, and our conversation degenerated into an argument . . . and there went our romantic anniversary dinner.  After we got home we talked for a while longer, and I finally suggested that we practice walking in the light, and go discuss the whole issue with Mike and Amy then and there (since they now live next door).  We did, and once again the Lord brought healing, reassurance and a deepening of our friendship with them.  As hard as it often feels to speak the truth to one another in love, and to walk in honesty and light - the end result is the kind of unity that the Lord longs for His children to experience.  It's this unity that gives us the power to charge the gates of hell and to overcome the evil one, and to see the wonders of God's supernatural intervention in the church every day.

What a Friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs to bear!
What a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer!
O what peace we often forfeit, O what needless pain we bear,
All because we do not carry everything to God in prayer.

Look How Far We've Come

We made our first trip to the Denver Zoo yesterday.  I think it took me about 20 minutes to find a parking spot - I think all of Denver and half the State of Colorado decided to join us to see some monkeys yesterday.  Jacqueline invited her friend Sabrina to come along, and they are like two peas in a pod - giggling, screaming, chasing peacocks and generally having the time of their lives.  My friend Mike sent me a text message telling me not to throw rocks at the monkeys (inside joke, referring to my "youthful indiscretions" in Africa).  I resisted the temptation.  As I think about it - we spent an absolutely great day together as a family, and the girls didn't even fight on the way there!  We stopped at a gas station on the way home to buy Icees, though after taking one sip I promptly threw mine in the garbage and opted instead to buy milkshakes at McDonalds.  I do have some standards!

We came back home and good friends Tim and Kathy came over for supper (Sabrina's parents).  I grilled hamburgers for the kids and Elk steaks for us; the Elk turned out to be delicious... not bad for road-kill!  I guess anything is good if you marinade it long enough.  Now we only have to eat up 180 pounds of Elk steaks and hamburger in our freezer.

After dinner the kids disappeared and the adults sat around the table talking for another hour or so. Less than a year ago Daphne and I were sitting in the city park next to the zoo - trying to figure out what we were going to do - could we go back to France?  Could I really continue in the same role?  We were so confused, so longing for God to break through and show us what to do.  Well, He did.  Not in the way we were expecting, but He did speak to us, and here we are almost a year later - living in Conifer, in a wonderful home, part of an incredible community of believers, with our needs for the time being provided through our incredible team of supporters who've stood by us for the past 20+ years.  Wow - God is truly amazing.

I've been thinking a great deal about how God communicates with us lately.  I pray almost daily for God to open my heart even more to His Holy Spirit - for my heart to be in tune with His heart.  I find myself so often confused and lacking discernment when counseling others, and I long for God to speak into those situations as well.  Paul exhorts us in 1 Corinthians to "earnestly desire the greater gifts" of prophecy and knowledge to discern His will for His church.  I believe He does want to speak into our lives and into our problems and trials in a supernatural way, to give us special discernment into what is really going on that we may not be able to figure out with our own, very limited knowledge. 

     This morning I read the account of an amazing Scottish Preacher  - Alexander Peden (1626-1686) who was blessed by God with extraordinary prophetic gifting.  You don't usually associate the supernatural workings of the Holy Spirit with the Protestant Reformation - yet the reality is that God was moving then just as He is today; for reasons I don't fully understand, there seems to be a conspiracy of silence on this issue among Christian historians who write about this period of church history.  In any case, this is what I read this morning:

"in 1682, Peden performed the wedding ceremony for the godly couple John Brown and Isabel Weir.  After the ceremony, he told Isabel she had gotten a good man for her husband, but that she would not enjoy him long.  He advised her to prize his company and to keep a linen burial sheet close by, for when she least expected it her husband would come to a bloody end."  
 Even if I sensed this is what the Lord was saying, would I have had the courage to give this news to a new bride?  But Peden did not hesitate to speak what God's Spirit was communicating to him. 

About three years later, Peden spent the night of April 30, 1685, at the Bron's home.  "Peden left before dawn, and as he was leaving they heard him repeating these words to himself, "Poor woman, a fearful morning.  A dark, misty morning."  At 6:00 a.m. John was out in his field when a troop of English soldiers was led by John Graham of Claverhouse, came up and arrested him. John Graham has gone down in history as simply “Claverhouse.” He brought John back to his house and asked him, “Will you repent of your conviction the Christ is the head of the church rather than the King of England?”
Standing beside John Brown was his wife, who was holding the baby, and their little girl. And John Brown said, “No, I will not.”  Then Claverhouse said, “Well, then say your prayers for you shall immediately die.”  John Brown dropped to his knees and he began to pray. Then he stood back up and looked down at Isabelle and said, “Isabelle, you see me, shortly, summoned before the court of our Redeemer, to be a witness in his cause. Are you willing that I should be parted from you?”
Isabelle looked into his eyes and said, “Hartley willing.”  He took her into his arms and he kissed her. Then he kissed his baby boy that was in her arms. Then he knelt down beside his two year old girl. He took her by the hand and said, “My sweet child, always put your hand in God’s hand as your guide. And be a comfort to your mother.”
Then he stood up and he looked up to heaven and said, “Blessed be thou oh Holy Spirit who speaketh more comfort to my heart than the voice of my oppressors can speak terror to my ears.”
This enraged Claverhouse and he order six of his soldiers to shoot John Brown on the spot, but the soldiers remained motionless. They would not draw their weapons. They could not kill someone who love his God that much, who loved his wife that much, who was willing to lay down his life for his God and who had no unkind words for his enemies.
Claverhouse drew his own pistol and shot John Brown right through the head. Brown fell crumpled at the feet of his wife.
Isabelle took off her apron and knelt down and rapped his shattered head with it. Claver house asked her, “Well woman, what thinkest thou now of thy husband?”
Isabelle looked up and she said, “I have always thought well of him, but never more than at this moment.
It was now 7:00 a.m. and Alexander Peden was 11 miles away. He was entering the gate of his friend, John Muirhead’s house. He banged on the door and asked the family to gather around the fireplace with him. He knelt down and said, “Oh Lord, Let the blood of Brown be precious in Thy sight. How long before Thou wilt avenge the blood of John Brown.”
Muirhead grabbed him by the arm and asked him, “What are you talking about?”
Peden said, “This morning, just as the sun was rising, I saw a strange thing in the sky. I saw a bright and shining star fall to the earth. Truly this day, the greatest Christian I have ever conversed has fallen. Claverhouse has been at Priesthill this morning and he has shot John Brown dead and his widow, Isabelle, kneels at his corps with no one to speak comfort to her."

My heart is deeply moved as I read this account - not only by the courage of John Brown and his wife Isabel, but just as much by Alexander Peden who was so in tune with the Holy Spirit that he knew of these events before, and the very instant that they happened.  This kind of supernatural communication is present in every chapter of the book of Acts, with the exception of chapter 17.  I believe God still speaks just as clearly today - the problem is not His lack of communication, but my deafness or unwillingness to hear what He is saying.  

Say What's On Your Mind

Michael and I had a long chat yesterday, mostly about current issues in the church and how we're trying to deal with them.  By "Issues" I mean "people" - because that's what growing a church is all about.  We've thought about making a sign to put in the Llama Diner that says: "We're in the people business: Salvage and Repair."  Michael likes to refer to our church as the "Island of misfit toys", from the animated Christmas movie we used to watch as kids.  We've all got our problems, our blind spots, and our character issues.  The question is - do we see them?  I often pray that God will give me eyes to see my own "stuff", because I see people all around me who seem blissfully unaware of how their words and actions are wounding others, or how their opinion of themselves is so radically opposed to how others view them.  When they finally leave the church - and they usually do - they will leave blaming the pastor, the staff, the youth group, the worship team... anyone but themselves.  Then they'll move to the next church and start the process all over again - and the list of their "former" churches can number in the dozens and stretch back 30 years.  What a tragedy.  And the world watches how the church misbehaves - only adding fuel to the fire that all Christians are hypocrites and double-talkers.

So, much of our conversation yesterday focused on how well we are doing at finding a balance between love, compassion and long-suffering on the one hand, and our willingness to look someone in the eye and say "You are wrong and your life needs to change" on the other.  There's a place for both, but I tend to favor the former and neglect the latter.  Michael has been a great example to me in this area, as I've watched him over and over as he shares the "last 10%" with a misbehaving church member in a calm voice and without anger.  What's the "last 10%"?  It means being brutally honest with someone to show them the issues in their life that no one else has had the courage to address.  We'll give one another the 90% that's easy, but very few of us are willing to risk a friendship or a church membership to tell someone what their problem REALLY is.  I admire this in Mike.  Of course, the reaction of the person on the receiving end can vary from stunned silence to getting up and walking out of the room and out of the church.  In the short time we've been here I've seen quite a number slam the door on their way out; but I've also seen some of those same people come walking back with their hat in their hand and a broken, repentant heart to say, "I'm sorry.  Can we talk?"   Wow.  A broken, repentant heart is a powerful, powerful tool in the hands of the Lord.  I told someone a couple of days ago that one of the signs of a truly broken and repentant heart is an attitude of genuine gratitude - knowing that we deserve nothing, and receiving everything with a grateful heart.

As I drove home yesterday afternoon I turned on the radio to my favorite Christian station, and the DJ was reading from Ephesians 4:29, "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."   Interesting that Paul says that our talk should help build others up "according to their needs", and that it should benefit those who listen - assuming that others are listening in to the conversation.  Probably similar to when Paul confronted Peter in public about Peter's hypocrisy of fellowshipping with the gentiles when he was alone, but withdrawing from them when he was with the Jews. 

When I heard the verse being read on the radio right after Michael and I had that conversation, I thought to myself, "OK Lord, I hear you."

Blast From The Past

Nicole and I went to the "Eagles" concert down in Denver last night, thanks to the generosity of our pastor who gave us two free tickets. We were way up in the 'nosebleed' section, but had a GREAT time together.  The concert started at 8pm, and we finally left around 11 because Nicole has school today.  Almost every song they played catapulted me back to my days in High School in Kenya, as the Eagles were huge back then.  I laughed when I saw the stadium filled with gray heads - but then, the Eagles are all in their 60's too.  "Hotel California", "Take it Easy" and "Desperado" ... it was Rockin' last night, and those old guys can still crank it out.  I bought Nicole a T-shirt and myself a baseball cap to commemorate the evening.  I loved every minute.

We're finally going to see some more of our beautiful state this weekend when we drive down to Gunnison for a retreat with several other families  - all CCC staff or former staff like us.  Looks like the weather should be beautiful as well.  Of course, the weather is always beautiful in Colorado.

I went through the first "dry run" of my crisis training material with six of the Journey staff on Tuesday.  I think they came because Michael asked them to be there (he was sick that day), but by the end of the morning they were all psyched-up to get ready for the next crisis.  It was kind of a surreal experience in some ways:  I felt like an ex-CIA operative who now works as a sales clerk... and no one knows about his former life.  The team here only knows us in the context of our life here in Conifer - and for the first time they heard some of the stories about crises we dealt with in Egypt, Kyrgyzstan, Kazakhstan...  I'm sure it's hard for them to imagine me in that world.

  I just received the first few dozen copies of our new Storm Guides brochure, and it looks GREAT!  I finally have something printed to give to prospective clients, and the beautiful full-color brochure should add some measure of credibility to the company. 

Road Kill Hamburgers

     My buddy Dave called me yesterday morning around 7 a.m. while I was out for a walk; "I've sent you two messages dude!"  I told him I couldn't hear the phone, and asked him what was up.  "DJ called me this morning (local Sheriff's deputy) and said that someone hit four elk down near the High School - do you want some?"  Four elk?  How is it possible for one vehicle to hit four elk?  I found out later that it was a jeep, and the driver walked away from the accident (although I'm sure his jeep didn't).  I told Dave  I'd help him clean the elk if he could go and pick one of them up in his truck - then we could take it down to Denver to have the meat processed.  When he got to the site there were two guys loading two yearling elk into their truck, and there was only one cow left (someone had already taken the other elk... I find it amusing that we're like blue-collar vultures swooping in to grab the kill).  Dave was trying to figure out how to load her into his truck - she weighed somewhere around 400 pounds - when a friend of his driving a front-end loader just "happened" to pass by at that very moment.  It didn't take long to scoop up the elk in the bucket and drop her in the back of Dave's truck.  He and I were talking about it later in the day - about how funny it was that his friend "coincidentally" passed by at that very moment, with just the right equipment to do the job.  You'd almost think someone is looking out for us....

He brought the elk over to our house, and I called my neighbor Brian to see if he had a place where we could hoist her up to clean the carcass.  He said we should come on down to his barn - and (of course) he had just the right equipment to hang the elk up.  A few minutes later I'm up to my elbows in elk blood, having the time of my life (no pictures for the sake of the faint-hearted).  We finished cleaning and skinning the elk and drove back up to my house so Dave could wash up before driving downtown.  Now, I have to say here that I've never seen any foxes, coyotes or bears anywhere near our house since we moved here - but we had no sooner driven into my driveway when a fox showed up to sniff the back of Dave's truck; what an amazing sense of smell!

Dave drove down to Denver and dropped the elk off to have it converted into roasts, steaks and hamburger - and I am now officially a Redneck who eats road-kill :)  I also know how to clean an elk now, which will come in handy come hunting season.

This is the view behind our house this morning.  We had a late Spring snow last night, which seems really strange knowing that the temperature will be back up to 72 degrees tomorrow.  Crazy Colorado weather.  I thought we were done with the snow, but the locals tell me we can get snow virtually any time of year.  It's all about Global Warming (not).

Daphne has started volunteering her services at the Angry Llama Diner entering the financial data from income and expenses, and she's loving it.  She's also learning the ropes of waitressing at the restaurant, helps lead a weekly women's Bible study, and meets with three or four different

women every week.  I guess you could say that she's really beginning to thrive.  We're leading the Home Group leaders training togetherBusiness at the Angry Llama is so good we're already trying to figure out how to expand the seating capacity.  We are full virtually every lunch and dinner  - all week long - and we run out of table space on a daily basis.  We're going to knock a hole in one wall to add more seating in the room next door, and we're busy collecting elk and deer antlers, trophy mounts, antique skis, antique guns... anything to give the restaurant a "mountain lodge" feel.  Of course, as you look at the pictures to the right - we just threw up some decorations just to get the diner opened.  You can see a couple of my paintings on the wall above the stairway in the picture to the right.  I'm hoping to sell some framed prints through the restaurant, but no takers as of yet.  Part of the problem (I think) is the fact that the paintings are kind of hidden, and that they don't fit with the "eclectic" decorations we currently have up.

I'm still working on getting Storm Guides up and running.  Next week I'm going to train six or seven of the leaders from our church as a rehearsal for me, and to get their input on the training itself, the content and the presentation.  I need to do at least a couple more "pro-bono" workshops to get the training to the level I need to reach before I begin charging for my services.  I should have a full-color brochure printed by next week (thanks to our good friends El and Debi Ridder);  I can then send copies of the brochure with a cover letter to  different churches and mission agencies, and follow them up with a phone call.  I am realizing one significant reality:  churches do not make decisions quickly - especially ones that require a financial investment.  I need to grow the business to the point where I'll have trainings set up 5-7 months out, and keep that pace consistently.  Our support has dropped by about two thirds over the past three months, and I'm asking the Lord to help us build an income stream to make up the difference... and trying to rest in His sovereign care and control in the meantime.

First Journey Message

     I preached my first message at the Journey Community Church yesterday - well, my first two messages actually, since we have two services.  That was also my first time to preach twice on a Sunday; I confess that the second time was better than the first!  At the end of the service, Michael introduced Daphne and I and explained my new role as "Executive Pastor".  We both felt very affirmed by Mike and the church team - and a number of people who came up after each service to greet us.  There was one thing Mike said that really struck both Daphne and I:  he was talking about his perspective on the qualifications for leadership in this church, and I would have expected him to say that you need a seminary degree, or X number of years as a missionary -  but he didn't.  The only qualification he talked about is that someone be a broken person - and that's what he's looking for.  He has hired and fired two seminary graduates in the past who both had their doctorate degrees.  He hired them because they seemed to know so much... but then he quickly realized that they'd never experienced significant life pain or brokenness.  Now he looks for broken people more than those with theological degrees.  He calls our church the "Island of Misfit Toys" after the animated Christmas movie that many of us used to watch as children: we're in the People Business - Salvage and Repair.  I love it.

     We (Journey Church) opened a restaurant two weeks ago called "The Angry Llama Diner" - I know, everyone asks, "What's up with that name?"  The name comes from an interesting fact about Llamas:  When a llama is placed with a flock of sheep, it seems to feel that it now bears the responsibility for the protection and welfare of the flock (maybe because of its size?).  Apparently, the llama will protect the sheep from any intruder, including bears and mountain lions.  It will lose the fight, but it WILL fight for the sheep.  Mike loved the analogy with the church, and the name stuck.  We have run out of room at the restaurant at least 20 times, and we probably have 200 people a day coming to eat either breakfast, lunch or dinner. But here's the best part:  for the last two Sundays, we've had 20-25 people at church who came only because they were so curious to find out what kind of crazy Christians would run a restaurant like the Llama.  It's working!

Two days ago (Saturday) I spent the morning helping our neighbor cut down trees on his property.  He owns 60 acres that he wants to subdivide and sell as lots for homes.  The forestry department guy came out and used up three different colors of spray paint marking the trees that have to be cut down to mitigate the fire risk - somewhere around 1000 trees.  I learned one thing from the experience:  cutting down trees is a HUGE workout!  I probably cut down 20 trees, and man was I sore yesterday!  Brian is a great friend to have as a neighbor, because he has all the cool stuff that men like to play with: bulldozers, A wood chipper that grinds up whole trees, 4X4s, a huge walk-in freezer to store deer and elk meat... what else could you want from a neighbor?

All for today

Prom Night

Last night was prom night, and I can't believe my little girl attended her first prom - with another girl mind you - but I was AOK with that.  I managed to get a picture of Karine and Jesse just before I drove them down to the venue for the prom - the Red Rocks amphitheater.  Well, not IN the amphitheater, since it had been snowing all day yesterday, but in the restaurant.  Due to the layout of Red Rocks I could only maneuver the car up to within 200 yards of the entrance, and they had to walk the rest of the way in the drizzle and their high heels.  Thankfully Jesse's Dad offered to pick them up around midnight
because I nearly fell asleep on the way home.  But it took me quite
a bit longer than normal to get home, because this enormous boulder had fallen onto the Southbound lane (heading back up the mountain) and completely blocked the traffic.  As we drove by on the opposite side I couldn't believe how huge it was (the news report estimated that the boulder weighs 60 tons), and what a miracle that it didn't crush any vehicles as it came down.  They'll probably have to blast it apart to remove it from the road.  I suddenly have a great deal more respect for those signs on the side of the road that say "Falling Rocks"!
     You can see how beautiful Karine and Jesse looked as we got ready to drive down for the prom.  The prom ended at 11pm, then they all came back to the school for the "after prom" party that was due to last until around 3 am this morning - then off to a friend's house for pancakes.  I wouldn't have lasted even through the prom, let alone all the other festivities.  Karine called around 12:30 this morning to say that she'd forgotten to bring her jeans... and could Papa just run them down to the school for her??  That didn't happen.  She found another solution in the end.

I heard an interesting sermon a couple of days ago. The pastor was making the point that worship is - in essence - love expressed, and that God created us to worship Him.  I'd never thought about this, but he spoke about the three original Arc Angels and their different roles:  Lucifer, who was responsible for worship; Michael, who is the warrior and comes in response to prayer, and Gabriel who brings messages from the Lord.  And every encounter we have with God includes the same three elements:  worship, prayer and truth.  Interesting, isn't it?  Three Arc Angels, so assumedly one third of all angels followed each of the three.  This would mean that when Lucifer sinned and was cast down to earth, he took with him the third of all angels who were responsible for worship... and his place was left vacant.  Now, God could have appointed another angel to that role, but He chose instead to give the responsibility for worship to us!  This would explain why worship is so meaningful to us, and why music has such a powerful effect in our lives.  It gives a whole new meaning to the idea of worshipping the Lord.

We're just on the tail end of yet another Spring snowstorm, and the snow is really wet.  Hopefully it will all melt very soon.

Journey Church

     Life can feel surreal at times.  Nine months ago, in August, Daphne and I were driving around Conifer and Evergreen - dreaming of what it could be like to live up here.  We didn't know a soul.  I remember the two of us sitting on a bench next to Evergreen lake, and we were discussing the idea of moving back to the States.  I had not yet resigned from my roles in the NAMESTAN team, so we were simply dreaming together.  We both loved the idea of living in the mountains, but would God approve?  I was so wrapped up in my own "issues" of what everyone's expectations were of me that I could hardly imagine feeling free to open the door of my heart and discover what dreams and desires were hidden there.

     I remember us driving past a Keller-Williams Realty agency, and just for the heck of it walking in to talk to a realtor.  We were only just at the beginning stages of allowing ourselves to imagine selling our house and leaving France.  The first person we met was Bob Krus, who became our realtor and who eventually sold us this home.  Bob has now become a dear friend - in fact Daphne and I are having lunch with he and his wife Diane today.  God seems to do that a lot in our lives:  the first person we meet, or the first church we visit ends up changing our lives.  We made an appointment one Sunday morning (wow, we didn't even go to church that Sunday!) to meet with Bob to look at a house;  we hadn't even started the process of putting our house on the market, and here we were looking at houses!  We must have been crazy... or God was guiding our hearts.  That day - nine months ago - we drove up to the High School just to see what it looked like, and we saw a sign saying, "The Journey Community Church meets here".  "Hmmm" I said, "We'll have to check this church out some Sunday."  The summer ended, and we went back to France to sell our home and say our goodbyes.  10+ years of life and ministry in the Muslim world had come to an end.  I could never have imagined even two months previously that we would be leaving France and the NAMESTAN region - nor how much pain and misunderstanding our departure would create.  Today, eight months later, some of those relationships are still broken, and God only knows if healing will ever come.  I've lived in four different countries in my lifetime, and traveled to some of the most dangerous places on the planet...  but I have never been as scared, nor felt as insecure as when we moved to Conifer, Colorado.  I was letting go of everything I knew - my life as a missionary, Campus Crusade, the team in France, my job, our church -  to move to a place where we were complete strangers, to start all over again.  The only people we knew were my sister Cathi and her family (50 minutes away in Westminster), our realtor Bob, and a guidance counselor at the High School.  Even as I write this, I'm wondering how in the world we ever did it.  We were either completely mad, or God was leading the way.  For some I know the jury is still out, but for Daphne and me, we are convinced it was the latter.

    Today, eight months later, we are living in a beautiful home in the mountains, not far from family.  We are surrounded by more new, wonderful friends than I can honestly count.  Our girls are settled in school with new friends.  My new company "Storm Guides" is off and running, and my list of prospective clients is growing daily.  And this Sunday, April 18th, I will be named as Executive Pastor of Journey Community Church of Conifer, Colorado.

     Someone once said, "Attempt something so great for God, that it's doomed for failure unless God is in it."  Almost one year ago the Lord communicated with us in a dramatic, supernatural way that we were approaching the key turning point of our lives. At that time we could not have even imagined any of what has since transpired.  A few days ago our Pastor Michael asked me to sit in on a couple of counseling appointments with him, and as I sat there I thought how much I love being a part of his team and this church.  As I drove away, I had a "defining moment" with God.  I sensed Him saying to me, "Do you remember the dream I gave you 18 months ago?"  "Yes, how could I ever forget it?" I replied.  The Lord continued, "And do you remember my promise about a whole new life, and a key turning point for your family?"  "Yes," I replied again.  Then He said, "This is what I was talking about."

     "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope."

The Journey Church

     It's snowing again.  They predicted 1-4 inches total.  At 3 am this morning there was no snow (guess who was up?); now there's more than 4 inches outside.  I think someone underestimated this storm.   I'm quickly learning just when you need to plow the driveway, and when to leave it ... there will be no plowing today.  Our vehicles can make it through quite a few inches of snow, so I'm not going out in the cold!

     When you look at the picture of our home above, you would think we were living in the wilderness:  It's actually just some clever framing on my part :)   We do have neighbors, but every home is built on at least 2 acres of land, so no one is on top of each other.  I finished the last touches on the rock fireplace, and I need to figure out is why it doesn't draw the smoke.  We've been smoked-out both times we've used it... and yes, I did open the flue.  I've run a chimney brush has high up as I can reach, but there's not much accumulation of soot.  If anyone has an idea, let me know.  The tops of the chimneys have caps and grills that are riveted into place, so it is impossible to run a chimney brush down from the top.

     Last night Daphne and I enjoyed a long, laughter-filled evening with Mike our pastor and his wife Amy.    We had dinner at a local Middle-Eastern cuisine restaurant called the "Damascus Grill" and it was actually pretty good.  I'm extremely partial to good Jordanian or Lebanese cooking, so I'm sure we'll be back to visit in the future.  We spent most of the evening laughing about the strange/funny things that happen to you when you're in full-time ministry... and after all these years we had plenty of examples.  Mike has asked us to coordinate the small group ministry of the church, and he's going to announce it this coming Sunday.  Daphne and I are excited to be more intimately involved in others' lives again.  We've tried to wait patiently for the Lord to show us when it is time to step out of this time of waiting and listening into any kind of ministry leadership.  We have not sought any roles in the church, and Mike asked us several times before we finally accepted.  I'm not sure why we accepted this last time;  I guess we just sense the Lord giving us the green light.  I will say that we're approaching any kind of "ministry" activity with many more personal boundaries and limitations that we have in the past.  Mike promised that he has no intention of "burning us out", and my reply to him was "And we have no intention of letting ourselves get to that place again."   The church is about to open the diner called "The Angry Llama"; don't ask me where Mike came up with the name, as I have no idea.  In the same building we'll have a coffee bar with a big screen TV for watching sports etc, pool tables etc to draw in the high-school kids, several offices, a small gym... and I don't even know what else.  This is a faith-venture from beginning to end, as we don't even have the money to cover the rent each month.  If it works, it will be of the Lord (and lots of sweat and tears from the church team). 

      In our last email newsletter we asked our friends and supporters to help us with our marketing strategy for Storm Guides, and we've already had one very encouraging contact with a missions agency based in Georgia.  This is how I expect things to develop - by word of mouth more than other marketing strategies.  We're hoping to finish a brochure very soon.   All the ground-work of setting up a new company, getting registered, maintaining the website etc still feels very daunting, and I can already see that I'll need to bring someone on to help me administratively in the not-too-distant future.  I simply cannot handle all the details on my own.  Hopefully we'll begin to have income through Storm Guides and we can hire someone part-time.

     My brother John and I have been talking about the issue of listening to God lately.  This is particularly interesting when you think about Peter, James and John.  They hung around Jesus more than the others (I sometimes wonder how the others felt about that), so they had more opportunity to hear Him.  But they weren't always listening.  When Jesus took them up on the Mount of Transfiguration, Peter started babbling as usual about how they should make that place a permanent retreat center, with a gymnasium, and cafeteria, and statues of Jesus, Elijah and Moses...  and then God interrupted him and said, "This is my Son.  LISTEN TO HIM!"   It seems pretty clear from the context that God was telling Peter, and the others, to shut up and pay more attention to Jesus.  It seems like John, at least, started to understand because a little while later He told Jesus how he'd rebuked a man for casting out demons because he wasn't "one of the team".  I always read this as though John were proud of what he'd said, but my brother John pointed out that  - in all likelihood - John actually felt bad about it, and was making a confession.  If so, then he had started listening more to Jesus' heart, and arguing less about who was the greatest.  I really want to learn to listen more attentively, more actively and more often.