First Colorado Thanksgiving

     This Thanksgiving will always be remembered by our family as our first in Colorado, and our first with my sister Cathi and her family.  I am dumbfounded by all that has transpired in our lives since our last Thanksgiving in France a year ago.  We could NEVER have imagined that one year later I would have resigned from my roles in Namestan, resigned from CCC, and that we would be re-settled in Colorado.  The events of the past 12 months could only have been coordinated by a Sovereign, Loving God who was always a hundred steps ahead of us, leading us one day at a time through an incredible labyrinth of unexpected turns, secret passageways, and wonderful surprises.  As the popular song says, "We stand in awe of you." 

     We are grateful for a myriad of miracles that God has performed in our lives this past year:

 - The miracle He performed in my life through my experience of burn-out, and the resulting healing and freedom He brought to my heart and soul.
-  The miracle that we were in France when I hit the wall when we should have been in South Africa, and that our friends Scott and Mary Petersen were in France when they should have been in the States on furlough.  They were the Angels of Mercy sent by the Holy Spirit to walk with us through our life-changing summer.
-  The miracle of God's provision for our every need this past summer through our time of counseling.
-  The miracle of both our home and our car being sold in our final five days in France.
-  The miracle of God's provision of a month-by-month house rental here in Bailey.  Our landlord spent the first three days of this week fixing every problem that needed attention - he even got the hot tub working!
-  God's provision of two 4x4 vehicles at a very reasonable cost.
-  God's confirmation through our approval to serve under Mountain Movers International, and my acceptance to the graduate program at Walden University.
-  God's provision of a local body of believers that meets in the girls' high school; we're among the oldest in the church, but we love Mike's teaching and the "risky" spirit that permeates the whole church.

     We serve an awesome God! 

     Yesterday I read a passage in Matthew 11 that puzzled me greatly:

"And when John had heard in prison about the works of Christ, he sent two of his disciples and said to Him, 'Are you the Coming One, or do we look for another?'  Jesus answered and said to them, 'Go and tell John the things which you hear and see: The blind see and the lame walk; the lepers are cleansed and the deaf hear; the dead are raised up and the poor have the gospel preached to them.  And blessed is he who is not offended because of Me."

     Here is John, Jesus' first cousin and the prophesied forerunner of the Coming One apparently struggling with doubts about Jesus' true identity.  How could that be?  John had preached fearlessly of the coming Messiah, and against the prevalent sins of his day.  He even stood boldly and at great risk to himself against King Herod's sin - and landed up in prison for his efforts.  Jesus Himself gave John the highest honor ever given to a man when he said, "Assuredly, I say to you, among those born of women there has not risen one greater than John the Baptist...".  So, what was going on with John? 

     Here is what I imagine was happening in John's heart, and what so often happens with us as well when we're faced with unexpected and discouraging circumstances:  John knew without a doubt that Jesus was the Messiah and Savior of the World.  His entire ministry was devoted to preparing the way for Jesus - a man he'd known his entire life.  I can't imagine that John really doubted Jesus' identity, but suddenly John lands up in prison after confronting Herod - and His cousin Jesus, the Creator of the Universe and the Son of God.... isn't doing anything about it.  John will eventually die at Herod's hand, and although Jesus is clearly deeply grieved by John's death, He never intervenes on John's behalf.

    I believe this is why Jesus said to John's disciples "Blessed is He who is not offended because of me".  We do get offended at Him, don't we?  I know I do.  I get offended when things don't go the way I want or expect them to.  I get offended when Jesus apparently doesn't intervene on my behalf, and I am forced to WAIT or even to change my plans.  I get offended at Jesus when He doesn't work in other people's lives like I'm asking Him to.  When John's disciples asked the question, Jesus didn't actually give a direct answer; He just said, in effect, "Just remind John that He really does know me.  He knows that my heart is for serving, and healing, and loving... and I don't really need to give him any other answer, do I?" 

     So while we're in what seems like an eternal waiting mode for the closing of our home in France, and to really get launched into our new venture here... He's reminding me to remember His heart.

Time to buy a baseball bat

I received word today from Walden University that I have been accepted into the Master of Science in Psychology program, with an emphasis in Terrrorism and Security.   No, not a Masters in Terrorism - that degree program is only offered in Afghanistan. 

We have also been approved by the Board of Directors of Mountain Movers International as a new ministry strategy.  Each of these pieces that falls into place helps us to feel a little more settled, and more "at home" here in Colorado.  Yesterday Daphne and I changed our drivers licenses from Alabama to Colorado; take an eye test and pay $21, and "voila", we're official Colorado residents.  We've been amused at how often the locals remark on our lack of a a Southern accent when they see our Alabama licenses -- I've given up trying to explain where we've come from.

Yesterday we bought a car for Daphne - a 2002 Chevy Blazer.  We went to this dealership on Monday to look over their used cars and asked to test-drive the Blazer.  When they went to get the key it was missing from the board, and we sat there for 15 minutes while they turned the place upside down looking for the it, to no avail.   It took another 30 minutes for the "key guy" to come and cut a new key for the car, and while we waited I joked with the salesmen that they would owe me "big time" for making us wait.  We took it for a test drive, but when I put it into 4WD  we heard a terrible rattling noise from somewhere underneath.  We drove it back to the dealership and I told them they were 0 for 2 (football lingo meaning zero wins and two losses).  We looked around the lot some more and found a Ford Explorer we liked, but we didn't even get off the lot before I discovered that the electronic 4WD switch didn't work.  0 for 3. By this time they were thoroughly embarrassed, and I said they would have to give me a car for free now.  We actually enjoyed joking with the salesmen, and by the next day they'd fixed the problem on the Blazer and we picked it up yesterday.  They even threw in a set of snow tires to sweeten the deal, so Daphne is now ready for the next winter storm.

A couple of nights ago an upper-classman, a young man, called Karine on the phone and they talked for about 30 minutes.  Then yesterday two guys asked her out on a date - well, one did, and the other wimp asked a friend to ask Karine out on his behalf.  We've made it clear to Karine that we're not ready for her to start dating yet, but I'm still somewhat shocked that after less than two weeks the sharks have started circling.  Time to buy my baseball bat.  Karine and I had a good talk after her phone call the other evening, and she was trying to convince me that Kevin was only interested in being her "buddy".  Some things may have changed in America since I left 20 years ago... but some things will never change.  I was a hot-blooded young man in my time, and I know what I was interested in then!   Later that evening after the girls were in bed Daphne said to me, "Well, that won't be the last conversation you'll have on this topic with your eldest daughter!"  Wow, for some reason we never dealt with this issue in France, probably because Karine wasn't interested in going out with any of the guys in her school anyway.  I told Karine that we don't mind her going out for group activities with her friends, but only after the designated driver calls me on the phone and convinces me that he/she is a safe driver.  OK, I'm probably being Victorian here, but these are the only daughters I have.

       Any counsel from the fathers out there who have lived through the teenage years with  daughters??

Thought you might enjoy a few pictures of our new adopted home!

 

 

Bailey Colorado & Brokenness

     We're supposed to get some snow this weekend.  With all the adjustments of a new house, new school, new friends, new church... a little winter magic ] always helps to lift our spirits.  After 10 days in Colorado, we're slowly but surely adapting to the altitude and to life in the mountains.  Last night I called a number from a local online bulletin board about some firewood - and spent the next 30 minutes on the phone with Ron, a retired veteran who supplements his social security income by cutting and delivering firewood.  When he found out we're new to the area, his response was, " Well, I've been here 30 years, and let me teach you a few things about living in the mountains."  Of course, it didn't matter that I hadn't asked for a free telephone lesson, but I honestly enjoyed his ramblings about where to look for a home, to be aware of northern exposure properties (much more snow), where the cheapest property taxes are etc.  He's willing to help me out with some wood to "get by" on if I'll come and help him cut and stack firewood for half a day - I love it.  

     Yesterday Daphne and I had a long lunch with Mike and Amy.  Mike is the pastor of The Journey Community Church that meets in the Conifer High School cafeteria.  I quickly found my heart drawn to Mike's last Sunday as he answered questions from their podcast audience; he was honest, transparent and vulnerable about his own shortcomings and struggles.  The whole church staff - other than Mike and Amy - are under 30.  When they decided to launch a church plant in the Denver area their whole team decided to pool their resources and live in the same apartment building - and over a year later they're still there.  As a team they now manage three apartment buildings, and they've started a coffee shop and a thrift store as well.  The combined income generated these businesses has not only helped the church stay afloat, but they've been able to help many in the local community who have been hard-hit by the recession.

     I admit that it all sounded a little "cultish" at first, but as Mike explained their vision about wanting to stay in close contact with each other, and grow deeper in their relationships as a church staff, I grew to appreciate their vision.  Any group of people who can work and live in close proximity to each other for an extended period of time - with all the inevitable relational struggles - and still demonstrate love and and a genuine sense of community have my admiration. 


     This first week of school has overall been a good one for the girls - even with a good dose of anxiety and loneliness thrown in.  We recognize that they are pulling the heaviest load of this move to Colorado by arriving three months into the school year to a new school and a whole new philosophy of education.  We told them a couple of nights ago how proud we are of each one of them - for their courage, their willing hearts, and even their transparency with us in the midst of the most significant and difficult transition we have ever faced as a family.
Yesterday we faced our first real test.  One of the girls experienced a total melt-down in the morning about going to school, and after a very tense and emotional discussion she stayed home while the rest of us left for the day.  I confess that it shook me deeply, and throughout the day I found myself struggling with fear and anxiety:  were we on our way down the road of teenage rebellion and defiance?  When we got home, we were greeted by a very repentant and embarrassed daughter who was grieved by her own behavior.  My heart went from anger to compassion in about one minute.  We gathered together on our bed in a family pow-wow, and we all agreed that whatever happens - and no matter how hard our lives may become - we have to stay together as a family.  We are all we have to hold on to right now.  It was one of the sweetest, most significant discussions we've ever had as a family - and once more I thank the Lord for the journey we are on.  Exciting, scary, emotional, wonderful, overwhelming... and at every turn we meet the Good Shepherd with a big grin on His face, encouraging us to hang on for the ride.




BROKENNESS


     My Dad asked me what thoughts I have on brokenness as he prepares to give a devotional in Orlando next week.  Well, I do have some thoughts.  I recently listened to a sermon (recommended by my brother John) by Tim Keller on the Prodigal Son.  One of the points he made that has stuck with me ever since is that God not only desires for us to repent when convicted of sin... but His desire is for us to live LIVES OF REPENTANCE & BROKENNESS.  There is a world of difference between a person who repents, and a repentant person.  Why does God love brokenness so much?  Why do the scriptures abound with examples of broken vessels being used mightily by God (Moses, Elijah, David, Paul)?  Could it be that only a broken vessel is a truly useful vessel?


     Repentance and Brokenness are not a one-time experience in the life of a believer.  It seems that God brings us repeatedly to the altar of brokenness throughout our lives, and these moments of deep sorrow and repentance appear to become more and more frequent the older we grow with the Lord - to the point that we're living as broken people, but people whom the Lord can use greatly.  The more we get out of the way, the more He uses us - what a paradox.  I confess: I don't enjoy the "altar" moments in my life. They are so often painful and humiliating, and my pride takes a hit every time.  And yet the more my heart is broken, the more He seems to use me.  And you know what the craziest part of all is?  The times He uses me the most are the times I am most unaware that He is using me at all.  


     As believers we've learned to "play the game" with one another, meaning we know what words to use, or what facial expressions or tone of voice most communicate sorrow or remorse.  And the scary part is that we can actually convince ourselves that we really ARE sorrowful or remorseful - yet without ever reaching true brokenness.  We're really only deceiving ourselves because the person across from us can read us like a book, and we all have an internal, God-given sense of what real repentance and brokenness look and "feel" like in others.  We just aren't as perceptive about our own hearts.  So what does a broken, repentant person look like?


-  a life characterized by humility
-  an almost total lack of defensiveness when confronted by others.  A repentant person knows that he screws up - and there's nothing to hide.  God is his/her defender.

-  A life that is both inward focused and outward focused:  inward, because we know who we ARE and who we ARE NOT.  Outward, because we long to show the same love and care for others that God has demonstrated towards us. 
 - A teachable heart that is always learning and always growing.
-  A LONG hesitation before giving advice or counsel to others, because he/she knows that the Holy Spirit is the best teacher in the world, and what we have to say is only useful when inspired by Him.  And as I said above, we most often don't even know when He is choosing to use us.
-  And most of all - a life characterized by a deep, deep trust and friendship with Jesus.  There is great strength and moral fortitude in the heart of one who's heart is bound up with Jesus.  No need to perform.  No need to prove anything.  Just a continual amazement that God would even want to use us at all. 

Five Swinging Pendulums

     We landed in Denver three days ago - all eight of us (including Dixie, Dusty and Cuddles).  The flights were ALMOST without incident; cuddles did relieve herself in her carry bag while we were in transit in Washington, but after more than 10 hours stuck in a claustrophobic's worst nightmare I guess I can't blame her.

     I've been up like clock-work at 3 am every morning so far, doing the jet-lag dance.  The only problem is I'm the only one dancing.  We went to our favorite restaurant for lunch on Tuesday (Cracker Barrel, of course), then to Billy Bob's favorite store (Wal-Mart).  The first time we ventured out of the house, Karine got her first glimpse of the snow covered Rockies and exclaimed, "Wow! I can't believe we're going to live here!" 

     All three girls are swinging like pendulums from sheer excitement and joy - to anger, sorrow and grief over leaving their friends and all that is familiar.  If I'm honest, Daphne and I are doing our share of swinging as well.  God always seems to lead us from one faith challenge to an even bigger faith challenge - and each time our circle of comfort expands significantly.  Well, true to form, this move has stretched us so far beyond our comfort zone that we don't even remember where the boundary line used to be.  And all the while the Lord keeps meeting us at our point of need in supernatural ways.  I am still amazed at how He brought a buyer for both our house and our car in our last four days in France - never too early and never too late.

     I've realized something else as well:  at each step in our journey we've reached a point of "pregnant pause" when have seen the Lord working, and our faith is growing, and suddenly we encounter a "hiccup" and the whole thing seems in danger of collapsing.  Big decision time: do we jump in and try to work it out ourselves, bail, or keep trusting and hang on for dear life?  It happened with our shipment when we had to leave most of our furniture behind because there wasn't room in the container.  It happened with the house when the first buyer backed out.  It happened with my future career path when Bob Klamser from CCI didn't contact me for almost a month.  It happened again yesterday.  We were on our way to show the girls the two schools in Conifer, and I called the counselor at the Middle School to ask about enrollment for Jacqueline.  When she heard that our temporary address will be in another school district, she said that Jacqueline wouldn't be able to attend until we actually move to Conifer.  I got off the phone, and actually started laughing.  When Daph and the girls asked what was going on, I replied, "Well, we have another opportunity to trust the Lord!"

 

     When we got to Conifer High School we had a great meeting with the guidance counselor, who showed us all around the school and patiently answered all the girl's questions.  Just before we left his office the school Principal walked in.  After introducing us, Justin (the counselor) told him that we would be temporarily living in the Bailey school district, but that our desire is to attend Conifer High School.  Would it be a problem?  He immediately said "absolutely not" and explained that it is completely his decision whether or not to accept students from outside Conifer, and that he's excited about our girls joining his school (Yea God!).  We mentioned our concern about Jacqueline getting into the Middle School, and he said, "Don't worry about it.  I'll call Frank (Middle School Principle) and work it out".  One more step down the mountain.

     One funny, small town experience happened when we walked into the Middle School later in the afternoon. We spoke to the receptionist about getting an enrollment packet for Jacqueline, but when she found out we were from France she got so excited and started peppering the girls with questions.  We started to explain what our plans are when a woman walked up behind us and said, "They're from France, and the two older girls will be attending the High School, and they're moving to Conifer".  When she saw our surprise, she added, "I'm following you... I was at the High School when you were there earlier today."  Our girls have been completely overwhelmed by the friendliness and openness we have encountered here - and they're just waiting for the penney to drop when people will start acting "normal" like in France - reserved and somewhat stern.  They're convinced that people here are just faking it because we're new.  This is what you call Reverse Culture Shock, and it brings back so many memories of when I first returned to America for college.

     One of our most daunting challenges has been to find temporary and (more importantly) affordable housing in the Conifer area, while we wait for the sale of our house to close in France.  We will be paying double rent until we close sometime in early January.  Since what furniture we own is in a container somewhere between France and the US, we need to rent a home with a minimum of furniture.  Our realtor mentioned a friend of his who needs to rent his home in Bailey, which is not far from Conifer.  I called him while we were still in France, and we had an amazing conversation.  He is also a wildlife artist (and Engineer), and we probably talked for an hour on the phone.  He is willing to rent us his home at a very reasonable cost, for any period of time that we need - and we can bring the animals with us.  And he has just enough furniture in the house for us to get by for now.

     We move in on Saturday, and the girls will start school on Monday morning. 

     

     Lord, you are an amazing God!  You prove your faithfulness to us in a hundred different ways every day, and all you ask in return is that we trust in your Goodness, and Sovereignty, and Love.  Thank you for caring so deeply for my family, and thank you for never giving up on us. 

Hang On For The Ride

A note I received from my faith-filled Mom on the day everything fell apart for us (on my birthday last Monday):

"My counsel?
HANG ON FOR DEAR LIFE.......as the adventure quickens.  And, it is an adventure with hidden treasures which will be revealed when God's timing is according to His plan.
"Lord, we know you are there....we know nothing surprises you...we're going to let go and take one step at a time".  The problems are unsolvable from our perspective but not from the One who is in control.  Therefore, the pressure's off.  There are certain decisions you've made with your best knowledge that God is leading, stand firm that those were from Him.."the rope won't break".  What an opportunity you're having to taste "food" most are afraid to even try.  The sweetness that is going to come from this mess will be nothing short of miraculous.
HANG ON FOR DEAR LIFE...make the short term decisions and keep walking.  Don't look back until the whole thing passes by and when you do, it will be a testimony of faithfulness."

Today we have a testimony of God's amazing, incredible, supernatural faithfulness. 

Last Sunday we had a buyer for our home, and an appointment with the real-estate lawyer for Thursday morning at 11am. 

On Monday our buyer backed out. 

On Tuesday afternoon a young couple came to see the house - when the house was in the absolute worst shape ever (trash everywhere, people running in and out).  I called them that night and asked for a decision; they said they would call the next day, and I replied that I needed an answer that night.  They called back and agreed to buy our home.  We found out the rest of the story two days later:  they had been looking for a home for a year, and they had seen over 50 homes.  They took last week off from work and they told each other that they HAD to buy a home before Friday.  As soon as they entered our home, the wife thought to herself, "This is the one." They love our home; they love the tree-house; they can't wait to move in.

On Thursday we went to the lawyer for the original appointment, and signed the papers for the sale of the house. 

On Friday the movers came, loaded all our boxes and a few pieces of furniture, and drove away.  We ended up having to leave a lot of furniture behind because there wasn't room.  After the truck drove away, I stood looking at all the furniture left in our garage and thought to myself, "Jim, you must be mad."

On Saturday (yesterday) a woman came to look at our car.  She is the first and ONLY person who has seen the car.  She agreed to buy it, and last night I deposited her certified check in our bank account.

Today we are relaxing, and tomorrow we get on the plane with our three daughters, our dog dixie and our two cats.

And we can't wait to see what the next part of this adventure of faith will look like!