It's Time To Go

Yesterday we signed for the sale of our home.  Two days previously we had a verbal agreement to sell, and then the buyer backed out.  A day later a young couple came to see the house, and by that evening had decided to buy.  Two buyers in two days - is that a miracle, or what?  This couple had been looking for a home for over a year, and they had visited at least 50 houses.  They decided to take this week off, and come what may to buy a home.  They knew what they wanted, and they knew what their budget is.  When they came to see the house on Tuesday, it was in a terrible mess - boxes everywhere, trash on the floor, visitors in and out the whole time they were here.  But yesterday Sophie, the wife, told Daphne that as she entered our home she thought "This is the one".  They have two young children, and this house is just perfect for them.  They have already started dreaming about all the changes they want to make, and the kids are excited about the tree-house in the backyard... and all we can say is "God is so good".  

Today the movers are here, and they are loading up our belongings and within an hour or two our house will be empty.  Daphne and I were sitting out on the back porch earlier this morning, just reminescing about all the wonderful memories we have made in this home:  innumerable house guests who have warmed our hearts and enriched our lives; the home group from our local church; counseling with troubles couples; hundreds of family movie nights with dear friends whom we will deeply, deeply miss; evenings sitting in front of the fireplace late at night; many times of deep sorrow and confusion, on our knees next to the sofa crying out to the Lord.

  

Oh Lord, we are so rich!  These relationships and memories are priceless, and my heart is overwhelmed with both gratitude and sorrow as I sit here right now.  Oh how heart-wrenching it is to leave a place where we have given so much of ourselves... and yet we know it is time to go.  Oh Jesus, please help us down this mountain.  It is so painful, we cannot possibly make it without your comfort and peace.

    I would have despaired unless I had believed that 

    I would see the goodness of the LORD
    In the bland of the living. Wait for the LORD;
    Be strong, and let your heart take courage;
    Yes, wait for the LORD.

We're trying to trust you Lord!

     Yesterday we thought we had a buyer for our house, and we were so excited.  I just received a phone call from the prospective buyer and he has changed his mind.  Normally this wouldn't be a problem, but we have only four days remaining and our real-estate attorney can only meet with us on Thursday - so in effect we have only three more days to find a buyer.  Also today we received news that the couple who have agreed to help us purchase the home in Conifer, and who were planning to make an offer this week, have a family medical emergency and they need to get back to California immediately.  Therefore their plans related to the purchase are on hold.  
     No buyer for our home, no permanent home in Colorado yet, no buyer for our car and therefore no possibility to purchase a car in Colorado, the moving company arriving on Friday to load our belongings (but we have no address to give them on the other end), and our flight leaves on Monday.  And today is my birthday.  This is going to be an unforgettable birthday for sure - we just need to hang on to the Lord, and what an opportunity to trust Him.  Please pray for us - I'm feeling pretty discouraged right now, and my emotions can't take too many more swings.

Down to the Wire

     The Lord loves to bring things down to the wire!  We now have two offers on the house, both significantly lower than we were hoping for.  Another couple came by for a second visit last night, and may call back with an offer as well.  The exchange rate between the dollar and the euro is very favorable right now for us (€1 = $1.5), but once we accept an offer we will still have 90 days to wait for the closing - it's just the way the French bureaucracy works.  A lot can obviously change in that period of time.  We need to accept one of the offers by Sunday, because we only have next week to meet with the lawyer to draw up the sale contract.  


     A second, perhaps even more pressing challenge, relates to the sale of our car.  Since all our funds are tied up in the house for the next three months, we need to sell our car here to be able to purchase a vehicle in Colorado... and we'll need a vehicle as soon as arrive.  So once more we find ourselves at the 11th hour, waiting upon the Lord and trusting that He knows what our needs are and that He is more than capable to work it all out.  


     We are still in the process of selling all the furniture and other items that we're not planning to take with us, and there is a virtual stampede of people coming by the house today (Saturday) to see what we have for sale.  I'm both thrilled that we can hopefully sell a lot of items today, and challenged by the fact that I am preaching my last sermon tomorrow and I have no idea what I'm going to speak on!  For those reading this blog today, I would cherish your prayers for God's perfect insight in His perfect timing.  This wouldn't be the first time that I am faced with standing in front of our church not knowing what I am going to say.  


     One funny story from last night:  we had some friends over for our last official "movie night", as our TV will be picked up on Monday.  I decided to roast some chestnuts in the oven as a special treat, and when they were nice and hot I brought them out and put the pan on the coffee table.  All of the sudden there was a big "BANG" and one of the chestnuts exploded, and we were all covered in very fine chestnut particles!  It was hilarious, and will mark the occasion in our memories for the future.


     

Confirming Impressions

My good friend Kevin Shaw pointed me to the October 18th devotional in Streams in the Desert, and it encouraged both Daphne and I:

     "The ark of the covenant of the Lord went before them" (Num. 10:33).

God does give us impressions, but not that we should act on them as impressions. If the impression be from God, He will Himself give sufficient evidence to establish it beyond the possibility of a doubt.

How beautiful is the story of Jeremiah, of the impression that came to him respecting the purchase of the field of Anathoth. But Jeremiah did not act upon this impression until after the following day, when his uncle's son came to him and brought him external evidence by making a proposal for the purchase. Then Jeremiah said: "I knew this was the word of the Lord."

He waited until God seconded the impression by a providence, and then he acted in full view of the open facts, which could bring conviction unto others as well as to himself. God wants us to act according to His mind. We are not to ignore the Shepherd's personal voice but, like Paul and his companions at Troas, we are to listen to all the voices that speak and "gather" from all the circumstances, as they did, the full mind of the Lord. --Dr. Simpson

"Where God's finger points, there God's hand will make the way."

"For God through ways we have not known, Will lead His own."

     We are now entering possibly the craziest week of our lives.  In the next 11 days we are trusting God to sell our home, sell our car, sell the furniture that we're not taking with us to America, close all our accounts here, ship our belongings to Colorado and say all our final farewells.  If God is not in this, our plans are doomed to failure.  And yet as I look at our lives from the beginning of the summer until now the Lord has not only given us His impressions, but He has and is confirming them through providential circumstances.  We have often spoken about the "life of faith" the Lord has called us to, but I wonder if this transition isn't the biggest step of faith we've ever taken.  Never has so much been at stake, nor the price of our decisions been so high.  We are truly "letting go" of the influence, prestige and leadership responsibility of my previous Namestan roles to launch ourselves into the rushing river of the unknown, so far out of our circle of comfort I don't even know where the circle was anymore.  Lord, it really does feel like falling, but that's what it's like to believe.  

     We said our final good-byes (for now) to Daphne's folks two nights ago as we prepared to leave England.  The tears ran freely and Daphne's Dad just didn't want to let her go (literally).  He is eighty years old, and we leave not knowing if his permanent resident status will ever be approved by the British government, which would mean they could never travel to visit us in Colorado.  Of course I will send Daphne back to England to see them in the future, but his uncertain residency status is just one more issue that we have no control over.  


    " What a friend we have in Jesus - all our sins and griefs to bear.  What a privilege to carry, everything to God in prayer."

Oil on Aaron's beard

"Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brothers to dwell together in unity!  It is like precious oil upon the head, running down on the beard, the beard of Aaron.  Running down on the edge of his garments.  It is like the dew of Hermon, descending upon the mountains of Zion; for there the Lord commanded the blessing - life forevermore." 

Psalm 133

     I read this Psalm a couple of days ago, and as I reflected on this promise a very important fact dawned on me:  brothers (or sisters) dwelling together in unity has nothing to do with the absence of conflict.  To the contrary, real unity springs from a deep love and commitment to one another that refuses to settle for anything less than restoration in the relationship.  In fact, it is the reality of conflict in relationships that provides the fertilizer for growing deep and healthy... as long as we are willing to push through the pain and confusion.  I can attest to the pain of relational disconnects that remain unresolved and without closure, and I can testify to the blessing of real honesty and vulnerability that leads to real restoration.  Sadly, we seem far too willing to live with relational "short-circuits" that drain us and rob us of our joy.

_____________________

So, where are we in this transition process?  Well, still with our feet in mid-air in many ways.  We have had many visitors to our house, but still not even one firm offer.  I have gone ahead and booked our flights back to Colorado on November 2nd, yet without a permanent address to provide to the shipping company.  We are moving forward entirely by faith at this point - knowing that we need to get our girls into school, yet having many issues hanging without closure.  We are currently in England for our last visit with Daphne's parents, and we return home to the daunting tasks of selling our home, our car and many of our belongings within the next week.  Sounds insane, doesn't it?  Maybe it is, and yet we have no other option.  So we go forward day by day - trying to walk by faith, and often struggling with insecurities and doubt.  We're attempting something that is so far beyond us that it's doomed to failure unless the Lord is in it.  

I want to share one experience with you that will remain with me as long as I live.  Long before I reached my own point of crisis I had begun working on plans to bring the five National Operations Directors to Paris with their wives for a week of rest, encouragement and romance.  After my resignation the leadership team decided to keep the plans as they were, and last week six men arrived in Paris with their spouses.  To our great delight, Daphne and I were invited to spend an afternoon and evening alone with these precious brothers.  It felt so strange for me to arrive at the office and walk into a meeting that I had always planned and led for the past five years - and to be outside the whole event.  However, any pangs of sorrow or regret were dispelled over the next two hours as Daphne and I shared our journey with these men - then sat and wept openly as they each vulnerably expressed their love for us, and how our lives have deeply impacted each of them.  Our emotional tanks were filled right to the brim, and in the midst of our grief we felt deeply affirmed by the Lord.  This leave-taking has been far more difficult than we could ever have imagined.

The Raven and the Dove

“Then it came about at the end of forty days, that Noah opened the window of the ark which he had made; and he sent out a raven, and it flew here and there until the water was dried up from the earth. Then he sent out a dove from him, to see if the water was abated from the face of the land; but the dove found no resting place for the sole of her foot, so she returned to him into the ark, for the water was on the surface of all the earth. Then he put out his hand and took her, and brought her into the ark to himself. So he waited yet another seven days; and again he sent out the dove from the ark. The dove came to him toward evening, and behold, in her beak was a freshly picked olive leaf. So Noah knew that the water was abated from the earth. Then he waited yet another seven days, and sent out the dove; but she did not return to him again. ”
Genesis 8:1–19

     Have you ever wondered why there are two, such very different birds in the flood narrative?  There are probably no two birds so different in their natures and behavior than the raven and the dove.  The raven is a predator and a scavenger - both aggressive and highly intelligent.  If you've seen the Hitchcock film "The Birds" you would remember the scene where the ravens gather in huge numbers in the school yard, perching menacingly on the swingset and the jungle gym.  There is a sense of foreboding and fear as the children slowly leave the safety of the schoolhouse - and you just know what is going to happen next.

     But could you imagine the same scene, but exchange the ravens for doves?  The horror imagery immediately falls flat, because everyone knows that doves are the gentlest, most fragile of birds.  The scriptures mention both birds numerous times, and neither in a negative sense.  Ravens fed Elijah under the Juniper tree, and the Holy Spirit came in the form of a dove.
     I've been reflecting a great deal on this story because it seems to have a bearing on times of crisis and major decisions in our lives.  Noah and his family floated on the water for almost six months - completely at the whim of the waves and the hand of the Lord.  Noah knew they would eventually "land" somewhere, but only God knew where.  When the Ark finally came to rest on Mount Ararat, they still did not know where they were, or how long they had to stay in the boat (around another 5-6 months; they remained in the Ark for over 365 days total).  So, the boat stopped moving, but they still weren't sure where they were, or if it was time to come out.  So what were Noah and his family doing inside the Ark all this time?  They were caring for the animals as they had been for many months.  They were worshipping, because they maintained the sabbath rest.  They were seeking God's direction, because Noah sent out the two birds to determine if the waters had receeded.  The raven flew "to and fro" until the water dried up from the earth - assumedly feeding on the carrion from the flood, and perching on the Ark... but it never came back inside.  The dove went out three times and only returned twice, the second time with the olive branch.  What did Noah now know?  He knew the water had receeded, and that the Raven found food and the dove a place to perch.  All that remained was for the Lord to give the green light to leave the Ark.

     Can you imagine the impatience Noah and his family must have felt at this point?  Let's get OUT OF HERE!  For reasons we do not understand, the Lord only spoke after nearly two more months and said, "OK, time to get out."  There is a corollary for us right now;  we "hit ground" during the summer when we made the decision to resign and leave NAMESTAN.  We've been waiting for the waters to receed, and I've sent out the raven and the dove to see if God will confirm our decision to move to Conifer, Colorado.  The dove has finally come back with an Olive Branch - and I hope to share some more details with you in the next few days.  Until then, we worship, and we wait.