My dear friend Sean Renfro is gone. He was killed on January 3 while assisting a stranded motorist during a snow storm. Sean was a Sergeant with the Jefferson County Sheriff's Department, and even though he was off-duty that frigid day there was no question that he and his friend Sam would pull over to help when they saw that a car had slid off the road and into the side of the mountain. Sean and Sam moved the occupants of the damaged car into their truck to stay warm, while they stayed outside to wait for the Highway Patrol to arrive. One small, seemingly insignificant decision to stand outside, and life would change forever for Sean's wife and four children. Huddled in front of the truck to stay warm from the heat of the engine, they never even noticed the SUV that came spinning out of control on the ice, jumped the median, and slammed straight into their vehicle.
Sam woke up in a snow bank. Sean woke up in Heaven.
The first Sean's wife Crystal knew that there was a problem was when Sean's Captain arrived at her door with the terrible news: Sean had been killed. No discussion. No alternate endings. Just....gone.
The hours (and now days) that followed have been a blur. I've been doing my best to help Sean's wife Crystal, his Mom Linda and their family to work through the hundreds of details that follow a death - informing family and friends, arranging a funeral, picking a gravesite. Every decision is gut-wrenching but absolutely necessary. Waves of grief come unexpectedly and inconveniently. The initial shock has begun to fade, only to be replaced by a deep weariness and resolute sorrow. Sean isn't coming home to take care of all this. Ever. There's no option for Crystal to just give in to her grief and hide. There's just too much to do - too many decisions to make. I watch how the kids deal with the loss of their Dad; It's as though God gives them a supernatural ability to step outside their life and the crushing grief for a time, because it's just too much to handle. They play, they watch TV, they talk with their friends. I know it will all come crashing down sooner or later, but not now.
What makes all of this so much harder.... so impossibly harder.... is that Sean's Dad passed away almost exactly one year ago, on January 9th. They haven't even worked through one load of grief when another, even greater one has hit them. Each of the kids have asked me the questions that preoccupy their minds: Can we keep the house? Will we have to move? Can we stay in the mountains? I have no answers.
I am amazed by the strength I see in all of them - Sean's wife Crystal, his Mom Linda, his sister Heather, Crystal's folks and her sister... they are showing so much courage, and I'm so proud of them. There's a million things to work through for this funeral: Sean will be honored by a full military-style procession by the Sheriff's department, with an honor guard, three gun salute and all the pomp and circumstance. And this is how it should be, because Sean was a cop's cop - a man of honor, a man who stood for the truth, a man who gave his life to protect others. The Sheriff's department and all the victims advocates have been truly awesome - and I am so, so grateful for all their help and support for Crystal and her family.
I want to write more about my love for Sean as a friend, but I'll save that for later.
Anyone reading this post can make a donation to help Sean's family by going to the link below. We are grateful for the amazing outpouring of generosity from across the country.
www.gofundme.com/jocxks
