Night Screams

A couple of nights ago Daphne and the girls were inside watching a movie (a chick flick), and I was in the garage tinkering with something.  I thought I heard a strange sound outside, so I walked out into the driveway to listen - and I was shocked to hear a woman screaming.  I jumped in my truck, checked that I had my gun, and raced down the driveway in the direction of the screams.  When I reached the end of our road I stopped the truck to listen so I could determine where the screams were coming from.  Silence.  I drove slowly past several houses in our neighborhood but never heard another sound.  I got back home and sat in the driveway for a few moments reflecting on what had just happened - and then it dawned on me: it wasn't a woman at all... but a mountain lion.  I remembered that I'd heard several dogs barking during the screams, which made sense because they could sense or smell the cougar's presence.  People had told me that a cougar can sound just like a woman screaming, and now I believe it.  Definitely fooled me.


 Yesterday afternoon Courtland and I baptized 15 adults and children from The Journey.  Since we don't have a permanent church facility we used the hot tub behind the house on the Journey Ranch property.  This gives a whole new meaning to the term "hot tub party"!  It was in the low 60's and drizzling rain, so those who came to support their family members had to be really committed.  One of the women I baptized came up out of the water and said to me, "oh, this feels so good in here... can I just sit here while you baptize the others?"  Ummm, I don't think that will work.  By the time we finished all the baptisms the sun had come back out and warmed everything up again - welcome to Colorado.


After church today Daphne and I are driving over to Estes Park for a romantic getaway to celebrate her 50th (sorry, I meant her 49th) birthday.  Last year we went for a 6 mile hike in the Rocky Mountain National Park to celebrate her birthday, and she wants to do the same again this year.  I found a little lodge right on the river next to the park that should be perfect.  I'm taking my camera with me this time because the elk should be in full rut by now and the park is one of the best places to see them by the hundreds.  Should be fun!

I Will Follow Him

"I will follow Him
follow Him wherever He may go
And near Him I always will be
For nothing can keep me away.
He is my destiny


I will follow Him.
Ever since He touched my heart I knew
There isn't an ocean too deep
A mountain so high it can keep,
keep me away -
away from His love."

A song from the movie Sister Act


Funny the things that touch us.  I remember vividly the night over two years ago: We were watching a movie at home in France with a couple of dear friends.  The movie was Sister Act, and at one point in the story Whoopi Goldberg transformed the convent choir from a cacophony of nuns who couldn't carry a tune to save their lives into a beautiful, harmonious, moving ensemble.

I was going through a particularly difficult period with the team I was leading, and I was desperate to hear from God.  As soon as they sang this song in the movie, the tears began to flow.  I couldn't explain what I was feeling, but this song - from a secular, sometimes irreverent film touched something deep within me and I rewound it and listened again and again, impervious to my own tears and the others who were sitting in the room.  Somehow this song hit me at the point of my need at that moment - a need to hear God's voice, a need to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that He was there, and that He knew the point of my struggle.  The song came like a bolt of light straight from heaven into my soul, and in that moment I found a little bit of healing.

We can find God anywhere, at any time.  He is not limited to speaking only through His Word or through a church service, for the whole world is His church, and every sound, every song, every whisper of wind is His instrument to communicate His love to us.  He is speaking and He wants us to hear His voice.  All we need to do is listen.

Elk Rut 2011

A few pictures from two mornings ago - chasing bugles.

The bear before he went to bear heaven

Owners Manual for Teenage Girls

In the middle of a conversation with Daphne late last night, I lamented the fact that there's no owner's manual for raising teenage daughters.  It seems like God would have done us and our children a great service if he'd handed us a book upon our first daughter's birth and said, "Here you go - everything you'll ever need to know is right here, with a handy alphabetical index at the back.  Just look up any question you have, and Voila!  The answer's right there!"  I would have immediately searched for the section on "Holding, Feeding and Nighttime awakenings".  As the years went by and other daughters were added to our home, you would have found me searching under "Playing with girls", and "Dates with Daughters", and of course the classic question of "Monthly periods" where I'm sure the text would have read "On this topic, we have no particular counsel.  Good luck!" I love all three of my daughters with all my heart, and each of their births were the most wonderful, emotional moments of my life. I wouldn't trade the experiences of the past 18+ years for all the money in the world.  It's just that having been a boy myself growing up, I think I probably would have have some basic ideas of how to raise boys.  With our girls I feel like my parenting has been far more by trial and error than I would like to admit.  I have two sisters, but they were 4 and 9 years older than me respectively and I spent my childhood either being mothered by them, or running for my life during baby-sitting episodes that went bad.

If I had the Teenage Girls Owners Manual today, I would be devouring the chapters on "Boys", and "Dating", and "How to protect your daughters from emotional heartache without flabbergasting them in the process."  Oh, and there would certainly have to be at least one chapter entitled "Guns, and their practical use in deterring unwanted suitors".  I will say one thing about raising teenage daughters though:  I find myself on my knees increasingly often as I plead with God for wisdom and insight for a job that I feel unequivocally unqualified to handle.  I can wade into the most terrifying crises with confidence and courage, and through my knowledge and experience help to bring a quick resolution.  But when it comes to raising teenage daughters I find myself fearful, untrained and unprepared for the task.  Our girls are no longer the beautiful little china dolls who used to unquestioningly follow us around because they had absolute trust that we knew the way.  Today they are beautiful young women who are full of their own hopes and dreams, and who have their own legitimate ideas about the way life should work.  Yes, they still need our guidance and wisdom from time to time, simply because we know them better than anyone else and we've clocked more time on this earth than they have.  But our role is quickly changing.  More and more we find ourselves wanting to look up the chapters on "Coaching and Mentoring", and "How to let go as they grow up".  And more recently for myself I need a chapter called " How to handle your own failures when you just can't seem to get it right".  

At 3:30 this morning I can say one thing for certain:  I'm way out of my pay-grade.  I can only turn once more to the One who does have all the answers.

Big Bear

I killed my first bear yesterday.  I was watching the Auburn-Mississippi State game on TV when I heard that a big bear had been spotted on private land not far from where I was at that time. There aren't many things that will pull me away from an Auburn game, but a big bear is definitely one of them!  I went to take a look, and he was definitely a big boar black bear.  I had to drive all the way home to get my rifle and the bear tag I'd applied for earlier this year - never expecting that I would actually have the opportunity to shoot one.  By the time I got back to the place I'd seen him, he had been spooked up into a huge pine tree and he was lying on a branch probably 40 feet up.  I was amazed that he'd climbed that high, as the tree was surrounded by branches all the way up and he was very large - maybe 275-300 lbs.  I only took one shot, and that was all that was needed.  It took me and a friend almost two hours to figure out how to get him into the back of a pickup truck due to his weight.  It must have been around 2 pm when I killed him, and I didn't get home until 11:30 last night.  There was no one available to help me clean the bear, and it took me all of that time to finish skinning and cleaning him (much of the time was me trying to figure out the best way to do the job).  Thankfully my neighbor Brian has a large crane with a pulley system that allowed me to hang him up, which made the job easier for me.  When I called my brother to tell him about the bear, he said, "I guess you've really joined the ranks of the Mountain Men now!  The meat is hanging in Brian's big cooler, and I'll take the hide to a taxidermist this week to get tanned.

Karine is now settled in Alabama.  I flew down with her last week, and spent most of the week looking for a car for her, then getting it registered and insured.  We found a 10-year old Toyota Corolla that is in great shape, and the only drawback is that it's a stick shift.  By the second day of trying to teach her to drive with a stick I was getting concerned that our relationship wouldn't last the experience... but she finally got the hang of it (as we all do) and she's driving like a pro now.  Getting the car registered was a pain, because Jefferson county (where Birmingham is located) is flat broke, and they've closed all but one of the satellite offices.  Karine and I showed up at the courthouse at 6:30 a.m. and there were already 25 people in line.  By the time the doors opened at 8 there were at least 100 people in line behind us.  Of course, when we got inside we were told that we didn't have all the documentation that we needed, which meant another trip downtown that afternoon and another hour waiting in line.  Karine already has a job at The Urban Cookhouse, which is a restaurant that's owned by some friends of my brother Bill who also attend his church.  We're praying that the Lord will quickly provide her with several Christian friends, which will help her to adapt all the sooner to life in Alabama.  One of the main reasons why we wanted her to spend some time in Alabama was so she could meet some young people her age who are excited about their relationship with God.

That's all for now.

Sunrise

The picture above was taken yesterday morning from our back deck.  No matter what we're going through, or what life may throw at us, the sun still rises in the morning.  Isn't that a comforting thought?  Today there is always the opportunity to start fresh with the Lord - forgetting what is behind and looking forward to what is ahead.

This morning I'm off to Fairplay to accompany a friend who has a court appearance.  You just never know what each day will hold when it comes to church work.  At least the drive through South Park is a fantastic panorama that I can never get enough of.  So, Lord - what's on your docket today?

smell of brownies cooking

I'm still working my way through my sawdust and grass cleansing diet.  I've lost about 6 pounds so far, but I have to confess that I have cheated on more than one occasion.  I mean, who can really survive on vegetables and fruit alone?  Isn't it strange that all of the sudden we "discover" that wheat and milk and potatoes are bad for us?  Makes you wonder how the human race survived for all these millennia eating bread and drinking milk.  Was Adam gluten intolerant?  Maybe people just didn't care about excess gas, and farting was considered socially acceptable.  Someone would let a whopper, and their seat-mate on the chariot would say, "Oh, don't you just LOVE the fresh taste of whole wheat bread?"

But back on the Sujet du Jour.  Nicole made dark chocolate brownies for dessert last night (Charlie and Gayle and their grandson came over for supper).  They were sinfully delicious, and I enjoyed every bite as I contemplated the sawdust shake I have to drink this morning as penance.  But have you ever noticed how strong of an emotional trigger our sense of smell is?  It doesn't matter how bad your mood is, as soon as you smell the aroma of brownies cooking in the oven it makes everything feel (for a moment at least) just great.  I remember a time when we were visiting a reconstructed town in France where old buildings from all over the country had been broken down and rebuilt on this one site.  I walked into an old log classroom, and as soon as I caught the first whiff of the odor of old logs and creosote I was catapulted 42 years into the past and back to the cabin our family owned in rural Oklahoma.  It was an incredible experience.  One sniff and my mind was filled with wonderful memories of old spring mattresses, daddy long-legs crawling across the floor, and the ponies standing on the porch looking through the screen window as we ate breakfast.  Wow.  I almost cried as I stood there - thousands of miles away and 40+ years in the future from the source of those memories, but the smell in that room literally moved me emotionally.  I can only imagine how this same brain "trigger" could evoke a deeply negative emotional response if the smell reminds us of a terrible, painful childhood experience.

I thought of the power of our sense of smell this morning as I read this passage from 2 Corinthians 2:

"But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumph in Christ, and manifests through us the sweet aroma of the knowledge of of Him in every place.  For we are a fragrance of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing; to the one an aroma from death to death, and to the other an aroma from life to life.  And who is adequate for these things?"

I can't explain this, but I know there are people who have crossed my path over the years who's mere presence caused me to feel wonderful, like walking into the kitchen and smelling the brownies in the oven.  Maybe that's what God is talking about here - that He wants us to be so full of the love and grace of Jesus that the fragrance of the Holy Spirit just follows us around throughout the day.  "The Sweet Aroma of the Knowledge of Him".  I like that.

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On a different and totally unrelated note:  Barrett Trotter was named Auburn's starting quarterback yesterday - a huge test for a young man who's played in others' shadows (namely Cam Newton) for three years, and now as a Junior has a chance to write his own story.  The race for starting quarterback was very close between three excellent young men, and the disappointment in the voice of the number two man - Clint Moseley - was palpable when he described the announcement as "the greatest disappointment of my life... period".  He's got some heart-work ahead of him this season if he wants to play for the good of the whole team.  Life's full of disappointments Clint - better get used to it.

The Evil, The Foolish, The Wise

Daphne, Nicole and a few friends from church climbed Quandry Peak (14,265 ft) last Monday, and they all made it to the top - with the sunburns to prove it.  On their way down they were met by a man who stopped them to ask if he could ask them a question as part of an "informal poll".  They agreed, as most of us would.  The question was, "Do you believe that Gays and Lesbians should have the right to marry?"  Come again?  What a strange question to ask while hiking up a mountain.  Daphne and Cari both replied "No", and gave brief explanations as to why they feel this way, to which the man replied, "Were you born bigots, or did you become that way later in life?"  At this point I'd have been ready to punch him in the mouth and demonstrate what a bigot is REALLY like.  He went on his merry way, but the exchange cast a shadow over the hikers for at least the next hour as they made their way down the mountain.  When Daphne told me the story, I could think of several ways I might have responded to his (very political) informal "poll".  Of course, you only ever come up with the perfect retort long after the conversation is over, and you kick yourself for not thinking of it at the time.  I would have wanted to ask him, after his remark about bigotry, whether he was born angry and bitter or if he became that way later in life.  What seems clear to me is that he is a sad, angry man who is desperately looking for someone to approve of his choices and sexual orientation.

One of the speakers at last weeks Global Leadership Summit was Dr Henry Cloud.  His talk was one of the highlights of the two days for me, because he spoke on a topic that has caused me no small amount of frustration and discouragement over the years.  The title of his talk was, "The Evil, The Foolish, The Wise."  He believes that you can describe any person as falling under one of these three categories, based on how the Bible describes humanity as a whole.  Of course, all of us can demonstrate any of these attributes at any given time, but as Cloud says some people make a "career" out of one of them.  The Key, according to him, is how we respond when we are confronted by Truth and Reality.  Our response shows whether we are a wise, foolish or evil person.  The Bible clearly says that not everybody is the same, and therefore we cannot deal with every person in the same way; we need to be able to diagnose what type of person we're talking to, and deal with them appropriately.


Wise people:

When light comes to them, they adjust themselves to match the light.  When truth comes to them, they change to match the truth.  As Proverbs says, "Correct a wise person, and he will be wiser still."
When confronted, they thank you and they are grateful for the feedback.  A wise person sees feedback as a gift.  As a leader, the way to deal with a wise person is to talk to them, coach them, give them feedback, and resource them.

Foolish People:


A foolish person may be the smartest, most gifted member of the team.  BUT, when light comes to them they adjust the light, and when confronted by the truth they try to adjust the truth as well.  The will excuse it, minimize it, or shoot the messenger.  They are not happy to hear this, and they'll get angry and have a meeting after the meeting, and you become the problem.  With a foolish person you will end up talking about the problem 100 times, with no change.
How do you deal with these kind of people as a leader?  Stop talking.  Talking does no good, because there will always be a reason why the problem is not their fault.  So, you have to establish limits and consequences.  Fools do not change when confronted by the truth, but when they have to feel the pain of not changing.

Evil People: (yes, there really ARE evil people in the world)

The Scriptures tell us to REJECT a divisive person after a second warning.  An evil person genuinely wants to inflict harm upon people, organizations, and churches.  You cannot win an evil person over through talking - so we have to resort to lawyers and litigation, and we put up our defenses to protect ourselves and the church.

I have observed all three types of people in my years of ministry - and we're certainly encountering the first two types here at church.  I wish I could say that most people fall into the "WISE" category, but that is just not the case.  There seem to be more Foolish People than genuinely Wise People - and most of us fall into a combination of the two.  Funny thing I've noticed:  the more our church helps a family or an individual (financially, practically, through counseling), the more likely it will be that the relationship will end badly and they'll probably leave the church.  I can't explain it, but I can't deny it either.   In some cases I believe that people are simply "takers" who are more than happy for the church to help them with their bills, or assist them when they get into a tight spot; but in the end, they're really not interested in growth or change.  In most cases such people (I guess I would say they fall into the Foolish category) weed themselves out and leave the church... for what they perceive to be greener pastures elsewhere.  The problem is, they'll just take their problems with them and repeat the same process all over again.   They come to us broken, because we're all broken.  But unfortunately they leave the same way they came.
 

Global Leadership Summit

I've been fortunate to be able to attend a satellite broadcast of Willow Creek's Global Leadership Summit at Cherry Hills Church in Denver.  We're into the second day of the summit, and we're in a session that I'm not so interested in (one of the only ones so far) which is why I'm writing this blog entry.


Couple of thoughts from yesterday's sessions:


From Bill Hybels: I am very impressed with Hybels.  His session was the most practical and down-to-earth of all the sessions yesterday.  His first question to the conference was this: "What is your current leadership challenge level?"  He explained that all leaders are either under-challenged, appropriately-challenged or dangerously over-challenged.  His main point was that effective leaders probably live just above the line between appropriately challenged and over challenged.  This is where they are stretched, but not overwhelmed.  I've seen this to be true in my own life; I tend to be most productive in any endeavor when I am very busy and very challenged, but not to the point of being overwhelmed  - which is where I got to in my former role in the Namestan office in France.  


His second question was: "What is your plan for dealing with challenging people in your church?"  This question could be asked not only of churches, but organizations and businesses as well.  In every sphere of life we will run up against challenging people - or perhaps we ARE some of those challenging people.  I thought Hybels did a good job of describing the three most common types of challenging people:  1. Those with attitude issues (negative, critical)  2. Those who are not performing well in their roles  3.  Those who are good people, but who for whatever reason no longer have what it takes to fulfill their particular roles.  The last group are the hardest to deal with, simply because they are good, faithful, loyal people, but the business or organization has surpassed their abilities.  The first group are no fun to handle, but at least the problems are clear and the consequences for leaving them in their roles are unacceptable (mainly, their negativity is contagious and will infect many people around them).  I recently heard a statement about local churches that also applies to the organizations I've been a part of :  Churches tend to hire too quickly, and fire too slowly.  This is really true.  I can think of several personnel issues I've had to deal with in the past, where I took someone on too quickly because of the NEED we were facing, and the PRESSURE to get someone in the role quickly.  In almost every situation, I regretted hiring or recruiting someone too hastily - without going through the necessary process of getting references from previous employers or supervisors.  In one case I accepted a couple onto my team who'd been rejected by every other department.  I naively thought that I could love them enough to work through their issues (particularly the wife, in this case) - but I was wrong.  I kept them as long as I did because the husband was a great team player and I needed his help ... but I realize now that I was being unfair and (ironically) unloving towards his wife to keep them on the mission field for as long as I did.  I ended up having to "help" this couple to return to their home country where the wife could get the help and counseling that she desperately needed.  The last I heard, she was doing really well, and I regret having taken so long (and suffered needlessly in the process) to make the hard decision.  Hindsight is always 20/20.


More thoughts to come.

To Cleanse or not to Cleanse

        I am now on day 5 of a 21 day cleanse to help rid my body of toxins, bio-hazards, radioactive wastes etc.  This is my first time to undergo such a "cleansing", and I now have a much better idea why I've not done this before.  My Chiropractor believes that this will be beneficial for my health, weight-loss, and possibly even relieve the symptoms of RLS - and I'm willing to try almost anything for that.  The "cleansing" requires me to drink three "shakes" a day, and swallow 10 capsules with each shake.  Now, when I read the word "shake" I thought this would be something like the Weight-Watchers diet that includes low-fat chocolate shakes and a variety of yummy meals, and I started getting excited.  I wish.  The "Shake" is a blend of two scoops of some disgusting powder that tastes like sawdust and grass, combined with any fruit or veggies you want to add to improve the flavor.  I've tried strawberries, blueberries, blackberries... and it still tastes like sawdust and grass.  Combined with 30 capsules/day that are also filled with sawdust and grass, and after three weeks I'll probably end up looking like a cross between a cow and a beaver.   There is good news however:  I can eat any food I want that does not include dairy products, sugar, wheat or corn... which are my four primary food groups.  No wonder my doctor says I'll lose weight.  So for now it's gluten-free toast for breakfast, salad for lunch, and veggies for dinner.  I've cheated twice already when we were invited to friends' homes for dinner, and I'm wondering if there's any hope for me to make it the full three weeks.

 My doc also suggested that I try to get off all my medications if possible - particularly the Mirapex that I take for my RLS.  Well, I tried that for two nights;  the first night I paced and groaned through the entire night with no sleep, and the second night I only slept from 3-5 a.m. out of sheer exhaustion.  So I'm back to taking the Mirapex again. The second night my wonderful wife got up to walk with me up and down our long driveway at 2 a.m., since walking is just about the only thing that eases the RLS symptoms.  What a wife!  She sat up with me until I fell asleep in the wee hours of the morning.

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Delightful Evening

The rock formation that gives Sphinx Park its name

"Double Outhouse" - hmmm, that leaves an image in your mind

Our friends Charlie and Gayle invited us to their cabin for dinner a few nights ago - what a delightful evening!  The cabin is in Sphinx Park, right above the Bucksnort Saloon that I've written about in the past.  They live 9 months of the year in California, and spend every summer here in Colorado.  About 18 months ago they started attending The Journey Church, and I was the first person they met - wearing my cowboy hat and boots (must have made an impression!).  They've come ever since, and our whole team has fallen in love with them.  Most of our church is composed of baby Christians or those who are still kicking the tires of the Christian faith,  and we're grateful for couples like Charlie and Gayle who've known the Lord for many years because they add a sense of stability to the body.  Besides, they are just some of the most gracious and caring people I know.

I want to show a few pictures of their cabin and the surrounding area because Sphinx Park is a unique and eccentric town - hidden away among the gigantic boulders above Pine Grove, CO.

Charlie and Gayle's cabin

The Quaint Kitchen

The magical stove

Kitchen utensils from the original owner

The "Bath House" - upscale outhouse

One of the old cabins of Sphinx Park, perched precariously
on the rocks above the river.

The frightening approach to the "honeymoon" suite
pictured above.  How'd you like to navigate that
in the middle of the night???