The Evil, The Foolish, The Wise

Daphne, Nicole and a few friends from church climbed Quandry Peak (14,265 ft) last Monday, and they all made it to the top - with the sunburns to prove it.  On their way down they were met by a man who stopped them to ask if he could ask them a question as part of an "informal poll".  They agreed, as most of us would.  The question was, "Do you believe that Gays and Lesbians should have the right to marry?"  Come again?  What a strange question to ask while hiking up a mountain.  Daphne and Cari both replied "No", and gave brief explanations as to why they feel this way, to which the man replied, "Were you born bigots, or did you become that way later in life?"  At this point I'd have been ready to punch him in the mouth and demonstrate what a bigot is REALLY like.  He went on his merry way, but the exchange cast a shadow over the hikers for at least the next hour as they made their way down the mountain.  When Daphne told me the story, I could think of several ways I might have responded to his (very political) informal "poll".  Of course, you only ever come up with the perfect retort long after the conversation is over, and you kick yourself for not thinking of it at the time.  I would have wanted to ask him, after his remark about bigotry, whether he was born angry and bitter or if he became that way later in life.  What seems clear to me is that he is a sad, angry man who is desperately looking for someone to approve of his choices and sexual orientation.

One of the speakers at last weeks Global Leadership Summit was Dr Henry Cloud.  His talk was one of the highlights of the two days for me, because he spoke on a topic that has caused me no small amount of frustration and discouragement over the years.  The title of his talk was, "The Evil, The Foolish, The Wise."  He believes that you can describe any person as falling under one of these three categories, based on how the Bible describes humanity as a whole.  Of course, all of us can demonstrate any of these attributes at any given time, but as Cloud says some people make a "career" out of one of them.  The Key, according to him, is how we respond when we are confronted by Truth and Reality.  Our response shows whether we are a wise, foolish or evil person.  The Bible clearly says that not everybody is the same, and therefore we cannot deal with every person in the same way; we need to be able to diagnose what type of person we're talking to, and deal with them appropriately.


Wise people:

When light comes to them, they adjust themselves to match the light.  When truth comes to them, they change to match the truth.  As Proverbs says, "Correct a wise person, and he will be wiser still."
When confronted, they thank you and they are grateful for the feedback.  A wise person sees feedback as a gift.  As a leader, the way to deal with a wise person is to talk to them, coach them, give them feedback, and resource them.

Foolish People:


A foolish person may be the smartest, most gifted member of the team.  BUT, when light comes to them they adjust the light, and when confronted by the truth they try to adjust the truth as well.  The will excuse it, minimize it, or shoot the messenger.  They are not happy to hear this, and they'll get angry and have a meeting after the meeting, and you become the problem.  With a foolish person you will end up talking about the problem 100 times, with no change.
How do you deal with these kind of people as a leader?  Stop talking.  Talking does no good, because there will always be a reason why the problem is not their fault.  So, you have to establish limits and consequences.  Fools do not change when confronted by the truth, but when they have to feel the pain of not changing.

Evil People: (yes, there really ARE evil people in the world)

The Scriptures tell us to REJECT a divisive person after a second warning.  An evil person genuinely wants to inflict harm upon people, organizations, and churches.  You cannot win an evil person over through talking - so we have to resort to lawyers and litigation, and we put up our defenses to protect ourselves and the church.

I have observed all three types of people in my years of ministry - and we're certainly encountering the first two types here at church.  I wish I could say that most people fall into the "WISE" category, but that is just not the case.  There seem to be more Foolish People than genuinely Wise People - and most of us fall into a combination of the two.  Funny thing I've noticed:  the more our church helps a family or an individual (financially, practically, through counseling), the more likely it will be that the relationship will end badly and they'll probably leave the church.  I can't explain it, but I can't deny it either.   In some cases I believe that people are simply "takers" who are more than happy for the church to help them with their bills, or assist them when they get into a tight spot; but in the end, they're really not interested in growth or change.  In most cases such people (I guess I would say they fall into the Foolish category) weed themselves out and leave the church... for what they perceive to be greener pastures elsewhere.  The problem is, they'll just take their problems with them and repeat the same process all over again.   They come to us broken, because we're all broken.  But unfortunately they leave the same way they came.