Here we go again

We're bracing for the second winter storm warning in the past week.  Between today and tomorrow, we should get another 12-16 inches of snow. This picture is of our driveway the morning after the last snow; I ended up plowing the driveway three times just to stay ahead of the snowfall - complete in my red ski suit, goggles and a cowboy hat.  I wish I had a picture of myself!  Our friend Eliane is due to arrive from France tomorrow night, just after the storm warning is lifted.  I hope the airport will remain open here in Denver.

The work on the house is slowing down now; I could easily spend 10 hours a day for another week working on renovations, but life must go on.  From this point on we'll have to work on the rest over the weekends.  I am trying hard to get my business website up and running this week, as well as finishing all the paperwork to set up Storm Guides as a non-profit organization.  I made several phone calls to local churches and mission agencies yesterday, just trying to get my foot in the door.  I'm learning that just because you leave a phone message doesn't mean you'll ever get a return call.  I find this to be a strange part of American culture, that we don't reply to phone calls or emails.  How does anyone do business here?

I've been reading an interesting book called "Emotionally Healthy Spirituality".  The main idea of the book is that it is impossible to be truly mature spiritually, while at the same time remaining emotionally immature.  The two go hand-in-hand.  As we "grow up" spiritually we have to experience a corresponding emotional development.  Many Christians consider themselves to be deeply spiritual, while at the same time being full of bitterness, unforgiveness and anger.  It just doesn't make sense.  One of the principles that I really appreciate in the book is that of "Contemplative Spirituality" - meaning that we learn the blessings of slowing down enough in life to hear the Lord, and to enjoy Him in the midst of life's busyness.  Here is what he says about our pace of life:
     "Another way to discover how much we need to slow down relates to how attentive we are to God during our activity.  God speaks to each one of us every day - through Scripture, creation, dreams, silence, traffic jams, boring workdays, interruptions, conflicts, job losses, relationship breakdowns, successes, failures, and betrayals.  Jesus described this as his "sowing of seeds." Our problem is that many of these seeds are "snatched away immediately" or die prematurely due to external pressures or our absorption with other interests and concerns.  Most of these seeds are lost because we do not pay attention.  When I have sufficient "slowing-down time" alone, I find that my activity is marked by a deep, loving communion with God.  Then Christ's life, more often than not, flows through me to others."

     I believe that one of my greatest challenges, and weaknesses, is the lack of this "slowing-down time" during the week - time to rest, to listen, to reflect on the challenges that life is throwing my way.  This was a huge part of my own burnout, and one of the issues I continually tried to bring to the leadership table while I was in NAMESTAN.  And yet I can be so obsessive-compulsive about getting stuff done that I lose all perspective on life and the value of contemplation.  Maybe that's why I don't sleep well at night...??  There must be a way to accomplish all the necessary details of life, while still maintaining a healthy dose of rest, joy and contemplation. 

Too sore to move

It started snowing at around 2 am this morning; it is now 5:30 in the afternoon and it hasn't stopped - I guess there's about a foot of snow out there right now.  My brother John and his family stopped by for lunch on their way home from a ski trip... our first out of town guests!  Sure is nice to look out of the window at all that snow, and be in a nice, warm house.  This picture is the view outside of our basement door.


I am worn out!  We've been working almost non-stop for the past 9 days to get our house "in order", and we're almost there.  My nephew William Myers flew over from Birmingham, Alabama the day before we closed on the sale to help us with the renovations - and it's hard to believe what we've been able to accomplish in such a short time.  We've also had a bunch of guys from our church who gave a huge amount of time over three or four days to help us move, and one of them (who has experience in construction) told me that he's never seen anyone change so much on a home before they actually moved in - or right after they move in.  Just to give you an idea, in the past week we have:
1. Converted the laundry room into a new guest room
2. Built a new laundry room where the wet bar used to be
3. Carpeted the entire downstairs - a living room, and two bedrooms.
4. Removed the fake wood siding downstairs and replaced it with real aspen-wood paneling
5. Painted the kitchen, dining room, living room and Nicole's bedroom upstairs
6. Covered the red brick fireplace in the upstairs living room with new stone

All this probably doesn't seem like much unless you can see it for yourself - so here are some pictures: The picture to the right is how the bar and paneling used to look, and the picture below it is how it looks now.  The next picture is what the fireplace used to look like, and then how it looks now with the new stone facing. The last picture is how the basement looks with the new aspen paneling.  We are soooo grateful for the incredible church and friends God has given us since we moved here to Conifer.  It's hard to imagine what we felt like back in August as we were driving around this area, contemplating this move - and we didn't know a soul up here.  And now we're surrounded by friends who are willing to jump in and get their hands dirty (and their muscles tired) helping us to move into a new home.  God is so good to us.

"Talk to Me"

I'm in Norman, Oklahoma where I just finished the first two (of three) phases of training to become certified as a Hostage Negotiator with the International Association of Hostage Negotiators.  Our trainer was a retired NYPD cop and hostage negotiator named Dominick;  If I had a dollar for every time he used the word F____ or Sh___, I could retire now and live my life out on some island in the Bahamas.  At the end of the class this morning Dom asked me if I'd been offended by his language (he knew I work with churches and missionaries).  My answer was, "Dom, you are who you are.  It's no big deal".  The woman sitting next to me said, "Oo, way to answer without answering!" -- maybe I learned something this week after all!

There were 23 trainees, and I was the only one who was not a police detective or with military intelligence.  Several of the guys work here in Oklahoma with Native American Tribal Police forces (something I'd never heard of); apparently, each tribe has their own, internal police force that handles security within the tribal area.  The place where we met all week is called the Absentee Shawnee Tribe Resource Center... absentee Shawnee tribe??  Turns out that there are three or four different clans of the Shawnee tribe that split up, and each became their own "tribe".  Huh, sounds kind of like Muslims.  I will finish the certification process next month in Indianapolis, IN.  There are several more certifications I intend to do over the next few months - in Emergency Management, Risk Assessment etc.  I have quite a bit of experience - but it would help me to have some official certifications to back up the experience.

It has become clear that the original plan that I would work with Crisis Consulting International will not be possible - for a number of reasons.  I'm still hoping that I can partner with CCI down the road, as they have a great deal of experience in this field and I would love to learn from them.  In the meantime, I've begun working with my board members on setting up our own non-profit crisis management consulting organization.  I've mentioned before that I've chosen the name Storm Guides, and now begins the work of setting up a business plan and then registering the new organization.  The greatest challenge I face right now is just getting my foot in the door with a large church; once I can actually start doing training and consulting, I know that things will grow by word of mouth.  I'm hoping to have a rudimentary website up and running soon as a means of marketing Storm Guides and what I can offer.

Dying Well

     I just heard the news that our dear friend Lynn Chynoweth has stepped across the threshold between the last chapter in the book of her life here on earth with her husband John, and into a whole new book called Heaven.  And unlike the book of her life here which had a very specific number of pages that were determined long before she was born, the pages and chapters of this new book will continue to be written forever.  What is Lynn experiencing right now?  Is she talking to Jesus? What is He saying to her?  Is she running to meet the very first person she's always imagined talking to -- maybe Moses, or Paul?  I can't imagine what it must feel like for Lynn to realize that she's really free from pain - and she can talk, and sing, and do all the things her tortured body couldn't do for such a long time.  What is she thinking about John and her boys?  Can she see them right now?  Can she feel their pain and grief?

Heaven is a real place; Jesus is a real person;  and Lynn is really THERE.  Wow - it's hard to imagine.

Lynn has been in incredible, intense pain due to the rapid spread of the cancer throughout her body.  Only a week or so ago the doctors informed she and John that Lynn had 3-6 months to live - and today she's already gone.  It almost seems like Lynn was in a hurry to go - not to leave her family, but just to hit fast forward and skip the nightmare of pain she was facing.

     I knew that Lynn was suffering greatly, and John & their two boys with her.  Because I don't sleep much at night, I often found myself awake in the wee hours of the morning, praying for John and Lynn.  When I heard the news of the last prognosis, I changed the way I was praying for them:  I started to pray that God would fill Lynn's heart with an incredible excitement and anticipation about getting to Heaven, so much so that all fear would be banished from her mind.  I also started to pray that God would fill John, Jim and Mike's hearts with an incredible, unexplainable peace to let her go.  I just read the last two entries that John wrote in their "Caring Bridge" journal, and I trust he won't mind me quoting him here:

Yesterday (Saturday) afternoon:

"Lynn is resting more comfortably.  She's quiet, no longer speaking. The finish line is in sight and she's fading from this life, preparing for the next.  Her heavenly Father is standing at the finish line with open arms, the Holy Spirit is filling her with courage and the heart to complete the race well, Jesus is holding her hand leading her on cheering, "I am with you always."  He's looking over His shoulder and has assured me that "I am with you always too!"  There's a comfort in my soul knowing He alone can heal my wounded heart and be the joy, love and courage I need for this last season of the race.  The world feels like it is shaking and shifting.  Be still my soul, take courage - your heart is anchored in the holy of holies in the presence of the Father, held safe and sure by Jesus.

Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine!"

And early this morning:

"About 9:45 Saturday night, Lynn leapt across the finish line into the arms of her Heavenly Father.  No more pain, no more sorrow  - finally whole, radiant and joyous.  Her family and friends were around her, singing, "Be thou my vision..."  as she completed the race.

We're numb, shattered hearts and yet our soul is anchored by the firm foundation of Jesus, the author and completer of our faith.  I remember Lynn and celebrate a life well lived.

With hearts surrendered to His eternal purposes,

John" 

I wept as I read John's words, because I cannot imagine how I would feel having just lost Daphne.  But it seems like my prayers were answered.

 

I have watched John and Lynn walk this road of suffering with courage, faith and hope.  Yes, I know there were many dark and confusing times - how can there not be when you've gone through chemo and radiation for so long?  But even in the midst of life's most terrible trials, there is a deep, sweet aroma of Jesus that just "hangs" around people like John and Lynn.  

Storm Guide

     It's snowing outside.  It snowed last night, and it will snow for the next few days.  We haven't had a big snow dump yet since we moved here, but we're entering the time of year when the big snowfalls come.  I've got my Honda ATV all ready with the snowblade attached - which is a sure fire method to be sure it WON'T snow.

For the past couple of weeks I've been busy in the steep learning curve of trying to establish a new 501C3 non-profit organization that I've chosen to call "Storm Guide International".  I chose this name because it reflects my passion to help prepare churches and mission agencies for the inevitable crises they will face as they send short term missionaries overseas.  I hope to have a website up and functional in the next week or so. This doesn't mean that I won't be working in partnership with Crisis Consulting International in some fashion, but my desire has always been to launch out on my own.  Actually, that's a misnomer.   I don't want to launch on my own, but rather launch out into the risky realm of trusting the Lord to direct our path.  And He is.  And it's still scary.  I am excited about one thing:  I've signed up for a training course next month in Hostage Negotiation.  The realm of hostage negotiation has intrigued me for a long time, and I thought there's no better way to determine if I'm cut out to be a negotiator than to jump in with both feet.  It should be interesting!

     Good news on the house:  we've been approved for a loan by a local bank, and we will close the deal and take possession on March 10th.  The same house we thought we'd given up as lost only 10 days ago, the Lord has given back to us.  Whoever thinks the Lord doesn't have a sense of humor hasn't spent much time trying to follow Him.  He does this kind of thing to us all the time!  He just wanted to see if we were willing to let it go, so He could give it back to us in the end.  We can't wait to move in - and our first guest will be my nephew William who is coming to help me work on some of the renovations we want to do.  Our second guest will be our dear friend Eliane Bordreuil, who worked with me as office manager for the past 10 years - and she arrives on March 24th.  I hope we'll have the guestroom ready by then!  Daphne and I both want to build an entryway over our driveway using log poles, and hang a sign from them that will say: "The Juniper Tree: Come ye aside and rest awhile."  Our prayer is that this home will be a place of rest, warmth and safety for all who enter - and that each one will leave more encouraged than when they arrived.

     Daphne is applying for part-time jobs to help supplement our income.  We've asked our financial supporters to give us two years to become financially self-supporting, and many have responded.  We have lost quite a bit of support however, and Daphne working part-time will really help.  She's gone through a real range of emotions this past week:  from thinking that she has nothing to offer in the business world after 30 years in ministry - to being elated when she got two requests for interviews in the last two days!  We don't know if either position will work out, but it's exciting nonetheless for her to know that she has qualities and skills that are desirable to potential employers.

    We are really enjoying the church the Lord has led us to here.  It's a new church - about a 2 years old - and the staff are all young, but we love being a part of a movement of the Holy Spirit that is growing and reaching people.  I love Michael's (the Pastor) heart - he's a courageous leader who is willing to take bold, risky steps of faith (a man after my heart!).  He's also willing to stand up against sinful attitudes and behavior in the body, which is a quality I've rarely encountered in our years in the church.  The church just acquired a building to use for everything but Sunday worship - and again, it was a big, risky step to take.  We got the building for an incredible monthly rate - far below it's market value; but there is still the risk that we won't be able to cover the rent long-term.  I'm with Michael though:  nothing ventured, nothing gained... and a whole lot lost in the meantime.  When it seems as though the Spirit of the Lord is leading, then jump on board and hold on for the ride! 

I can't wait to see what God has up His sleeve next!!

    

The Money Fish

     The last couple of days have been eye-opening for us (what's new?).  Two days ago Daphne and I took a long, slippery walk in the snow to talk and pray through the situation with the house we want to buy.  The bank had already rejected our loan application due to my new, self-employed status (they want to see two years of history with a steady income before granting a loan).  I could have pushed the issue by asking for an extension in the closing date and try to find another lender.  However, after we took time to talk and pray we both came to the same conclusion:  we should let the house go, and trust God for a house in His time and His way.  After all, if I manage to finagle my own solution, we would always wonder whether we'd been following the Lord's leading, or our own.  As soon as we got home I called our realtor and the mortgage broker to inform them of our decision to terminate the contract.  I admit that for several days over the weekend I was troubled and frustrated, and I wanted to find SOME way to make this deal go through.  However, once we made the decision to let it go, I was amazed by the peaceful reassurance we both felt that God is truly in control. Maybe one day I'll be able to find the same peace on the FRONT end of a personal crisis.


     Yesterday morning I got a call from our realtor, and he said, "You should expect a couple of phone calls today."  Not being satisfied to simply end the deal, he'd taken it upon himself to talk to the Director of his real-estate agency about our problem, and Kevin (the Director) called a personal friend, who is personal friends with the President of a local bank... and to make a long story short we just got home from signing another loan application!  So our hopes for this house are still alive.  Here's the ironic part: I just got a phone call from the President of Mountain Movers. The whole problem with the first bank was the way our income is reported; as a result, Mountain Movers checked with their accountant, who just told them that they can provide the documentation we needed in the first place.  It's as though the Lord is saying: I just wanted you to know that I could have caused the first loan to work out - I just wanted to see if you would trust me or not.

     I was thinking about all these issues this morning, and the fact that my employment status is still very tenuous, when I read the story at the end of Matthew 17 about Peter, Jesus and the "money fish".  What a great story!  Peter is confronted by the tax man, who basically accuses Jesus of being a tax-evader.  Peter (not knowing what else to say) replies that of course Jesus pays all his taxes.  I imagine Peter was still mulling this over in his mind as he entered the house, when Jesus asks him a question seemingly out of the blue: "Peter, do earthly kings ask their own children to pay taxes, or strangers?"  Maybe Peter understood by now that Jesus seemed to have this uncanny ability to know what he was thinking.  I would have wanted to say, "Wow, that's scary!  I'd better be careful what I think about!".  But Peter just answers the question.  Even though the Sons of the Kingdom are free from obligation, to avoid offending the tax collector Jesus sends Peter out to catch a "money fish" and pay the required tax.  One fish. The first fish that would bite his hook.  And the fish would just "happen" to have the exact amount of tax required for two people - Jesus and Peter.  Think about all the things that Jesus had to coordinate for this to work:  the fish had to swallow the coin, then swim to the precise spot at the precise time that Peter would throw in his hook, and then be the first one to take the bait.  I can imagine Peter thinking, "Say what?  Do what?"  But he went anyway, and apparently everything happened just as Jesus said it would.  This funny little anecdote feels like it is just stuck in as an afterthought, but it was just what I needed to hear this morning.  If Jesus can take care of Peter's tax problems with a money-fish, then why should I worry about how we'll get a loan, or pay for health insurance, or anything else?  After all, it's only money right?  That's easy for God.  What's more difficult for God is to trust that in my own free will I'll choose to believe His promises. 

What a wild ride.

Whatever

Daphne and I are sitting here this morning, watching the snow fall and listening to the fire crackling.  We found out yesterday that tomorrow is the day - we'll either find a solution for a bank loan, or we'll have to let this particular home go.  We thought we had until the 15th, but several competing factors have brought that deadline forward to tomorrow.  Daphne's been reminding me of some of our "Holy Deadlines" from our life together:

When we were married in South Africa 1991, Daphne was a South African citizen and was therefore required to have a visa for the U.S.  After our wedding in Johannesburg, and before setting off for a week's honeymoon, we gave strict instructions to the church secretary:  Do NOT under any circumstances put our application for a full marriage certificate (required by U.S. Immigration) in the mail, but take it by hand to the nearest Home Affairs office.  South Africa's postal service was notorious for losing mail, and we didn't have time to spare if the certificate was lost.  We left in our lovers' bliss, with the reassurance that all would be taken care of.  We returned a week later, only to discover that the form HAD been mailed, and was nowhere to be found.  Our plane tickets were purchased, but we needed the U.S. visa to leave - and for the visa we needed the full marriage certificate, and God only knew where it was in the postal system.  We frantically called every post office in the area to figure out where the form was, but to no avail.  We finally reached a point where we had done all we could do, and there was nothing left but to cast ourselves upon the Lord.... and wait.  I actually did such a good job of putting the whole affair in the Lord's hands that I pulled out a book and settled down for a good read.  Daphne asked me, "What are you doing?  Shouldn't we be making some more calls?"  I said there wasn't anything left to do.  Several hours later we got in the car and drove to the local Home Affairs office - thinking, "what the heck, we've got nothing to lose."  We walked in, spoke to the first person behind the counter and explained our predicament.  He literally turned, looked on the counter behind him and said, "Oh, here it is.  It just came in."

Several weeks later we were in the U.S., and our new challenge was to acquire a U.S. passport for Daphne, without which it would have been impossible for her to gain entry into Senegal where our team and ministry awaited our return.  We filled out all the immigration forms, turned them in, and left for cross-cultural training.  Three months later we went in to see what progress had been made on our file, only to hear the words, "We have no file in your name.  You'll have to start all over again."  Now we were in a pickle, because we had only weeks left before we wanted and needed to fly to Senegal - and U.S. Immigration does NOT move at a fast pace.  Someone suggested that we ask for help from a U.S. Congressman for Georgia, so we went to his office and pled our case with one of the administrators who worked for him.  To make a very long story short, in a matter of weeks we found ourselves standing in the office of the Deputy Director of Immigration as Daphne was sworn in as a U.S. citizen.  Then there was the issue of her passport.  We (once again) had our plane tickets purchased, and only a couple of weeks left.  Passports normally take at least two months to prepare, but the woman in the Congressman's office gave us the name of a personal friend who worked in the passport office in Miami and told us to FedEx the forms down there, with a paid FedEx envelope for the return.  We sent it off, and waited, and waited, and waited.  We were two days away from our departure date when we came home from running some errands and found the FedEx envelope sitting inside the screen door, with Daphne's passport inside.

Of course, the most recent example of God's divine intervention was the sale of our home and our car in France only days before our scheduled departure for America, and our new life here.  So we should be used to this by now, right?  We shouldn't find it any trouble at all to put our lives and plans into the Lord's hands - with the peaceful reassurance that He is fully in control, right?  I wish.  Yet once more we're faced with a major obstacle before us.  We have done all our due diligence in pursuing the purchase of this home.  We went forward in faith that the loan would be no problem - after all, we intend to plunk down over half the purchase price of the home in cash from the sale of our house in France.  I've spent two virtually sleepless nights, trying to understand why this is happening.  At this point there is absolutely nothing more we can do but wait, and trust the Lord, and see what happens.  Daph and I have decided to call this point the "Whatever Stage";  we have to get to the point where we can say, "Ok Lord, whatever.  If we get this home, great.  If we don't, fine.  Whatever." 

I had a long conversation with my brother John yesterday.  He brought this thought to my attention:  Jesus compares us to a flower in Matthew 6, when He describes what our attitude should be when it comes to trusting God to provide for our food, clothing and shelter.  So, what does a flower DO to provide for itself?  Well, it doesn't DO anything - except for one thing.  Throughout the day that flower turns it's head to stay in the light of the sun.  Other than that, it just sits there.  So here is our prayer for today; we want to - once more - rest and be at peace in our hearts, and turn our faces towards the Son of God, who loves us with such a deep love, and relax.

Who knows what will happen tomorrow?  In the end, it doesn't really matter.

Lord, we're trying hard to trust you - where are we going?

     It is midnight, and here we are yet once again.  Not even sure where to start this time in describing where we find ourselves.  As soon as I write this the only thing I can think of is to get on my knees and pour out my confused soul to the Lord.

     About a week ago our application for independent health insurance was rejected, because I was honest in answering the questions and I said that I'd been on medication for anxiety and had been diagnosed with mild to moderate sleep apnea.  Our family is in the peak of health - but because of my burn-out last summer we apparently cannot benefit from a reasonably priced health plan, which probably leaves me no choice right now but to pay the high price for continuation of our previous group coverage.  I just wish I knew how much our income will be a year - or even six months from now.

     Five days ago our home in France finally closed.... and the euro promptly took it's deepest dive in six months against the dollar.  The end result (as of today) is a net loss of $15,000 of income we would have received to help us in the purchase and renovation of our new home.  Of course, that's all theoretical because our funds were wired from France three days ago and for some strange reason they haven't shown up in our account here... and the Euro continues to plummet as each hour passes.

     I have been unable to get more than 3 to 4 hours of sleep a night for the past week - and hardly more than that for the past six months.  In reality, I don't think I've slept through the night for almost two years, and I can hardly remember what it feels like to be fully awake and rested.

     My partnership with Crisis Consulting International is tenuous at present as my board and I try to figure out a mutually agreeable and beneficial working relationship with Bob Klamser and his board of Directors.  Once again we find ourselves trying to set a date for a face-to-face meeting, but can't seem to find a time that will work for everyone involved.   So we wait.

    And yesterday I was informed by our mortgage broker that our loan application has been rejected because of my change in status from employee of Campus Crusade to self-employed contractor with Mountain Movers.  I called another broker, and was told that virtually no bank will give us a loan until I have two years of experience as self-employed.  Today is February 5th, and if we don't have a loan agreement signed by the 15th we lose the contract on the house.  But the only way to get a loan is to be employed... so where do we go now?

     The clock is ticking, our money is flowing freely down the drain, and there's literally nothing we can do but sit and watch.

     Lord, I know you haven't called us to a simple life.  You know that we've walked by faith in making some very difficult and risky decisions over the past six months, and now those same decisions are seemingly coming back to haunt us.  My heart wants to trust you and hang on yet once again, but my soul is struggling to keep up.  We've watched you work miracles in selling our house and car in France in less than one week - knowing we had our plane tickets in hand to move to Colorado.  Well, we're here now, and once again our lives have been turned upside down.  I know that you love us, and that you have a wonderful plan in mind..... I'm just feeling tired and confused tonight, and I don't know where we're supposed to go from here.  All we can do as a family is to look back; back at your faithfulness, back at your provision, back at all your promises. 

     We're stuck Lord, so whatever happens from here is all on you.

   

    

Cowboy hats and Mountain homes

Our Mountain Home    
     I didn't realize how long it has been since I made an entry in my blog!  Time simply flies by too quickly.  Our good news is that we signed the contract to purchase a home last Friday - we're so excited! God is so good to us - we will have 6.5 acres of land, incredible views, and the living space we've asked the Lord for.  We've always loved for our home to be a place of warmth and blessing, and He has been pleased to fill our guestroom with many wonderful friends and family members over the years.  So our hope and prayer has been that He would provide a home with room to spare - and He has answered our prayer.  After we convert the laundry room into a bedroom, we'll have the five bedrooms we've wanted.   The house was built in 1978, and it needs some work... but we just had it inspected and the structure is solid.  We'll need to change some windows, carpeting etc, BUT, to have this much land and to be in the mountains is the Lord's answer to the desire of our hearts.  Back in July when my counselor told me to let my heart be free to dream - I could not have even imagined where God has brought us to today.  We are hoping to close on the sale by the 26th of February, and move in shortly after we've done some of the work on the house.  Oh, and another piece of good news - our home in France is (as of today) officially sold!  It's too bad that the Euro is taking a beating right now, as we were counting on using the extra funds for the renovations on our new home.  I've been watching the exchange rates like a hawk... but for some reason my worrying hasn't changed the rate by even one point.  What's up with that?  I guess the Lord has some other solution than our making a killing in the currency conversion.

Cowboy Jim

     There's one thing I absolutely love about living here:  I can wear my cowboy hat and cowboy boots - and no one even blinks an eye.  In fact, last Sunday at church I was one of four or five guys wearing hats and boots.  This past week I've spent quite a bit of time with a real Cowboy who I'll call Henry (I don't want to use his real name).  I met him last Sunday through a mutual friend, and he came to the home group that a few of us have started on Sunday evenings. 

      Henry is either a brand-new Christian, or He's just gotten his life back on track with the Lord.  In any case, he's working through a lot of issues right now in his marriage and his personal life.  He called me on Monday morning and asked if we could get together and talk.  I had some time later that day, and we took a drive in my Cowboy Jim truck and talked for a couple of hours.  I am still amazed at the people God keeps bringing across our path; folks who are struggling, or hurting, or who've been through some major life crisis in the recent past.  Henry shared something that happened in his life 27 years ago that has kept him in emotional bondage ever since. As we talked, I

realized that I really didn't have much advice or counsel to offer him, since I've never gone through the same experience.  In the end I could only say, "Henry, it seems that you and the Lord have some business to attend to.  You haven't forgiven yourself, nor have you asked the Lord to forgive you... so maybe you should start there."  He called me the next day and asked me this question: "About 8 pm last night I felt like I was walking on a cloud.  I was 'doing business' with the Lord, and suddenly I felt something enter the room, and my heart was at peace.  Is that normal?"  Don't you just love the honesty and sincerity of new believers?  I said, "Henry, that 'something' that entered your room is actually a 'somebody', and His name is the Holy Spirit.  And sure it's normal that you would feel a peace in your heart - that's what God has been wanting to give you, but He was waiting for you to take care of your side of the problem."  I have a feeling that Henry and I are going to become great friends.
     We're still in "limbo" regarding my partnership with Crisis Consulting International; I'm hoping that I will be able to meet with Bob Klamser (the president of the organization) with a member of my own advisory board and the chairman of his board, to see if we can find a mutually beneficial solution.  I have lots of ideas and energy to give, but I'm not sure if what I have to offer is what CCI needs the most at this time.  In the meantime I am working on developing my second business venture, which is selling my artwork.  I will meet tomorrow with a woman who is a marketing agent for several local artists, and I'm hopeful that she'll add me to her artist 'roster'.  I'm in the middle of a new painting of a bull elk, and I'll add a photo of it to one of my next blog entries.  I don't think I've ever painted with such energy and excitement - at least not since I was a kid.  This is so much fun ;)

Walking on the Water

     We attended a funeral yesterday for Kenny Barnett.  A week ago, Kenny and his friend Mara - both students at Conifer High School - were killed in a tragic, three-car accident not far from where we live.  It happened at night, on a dark road between Conifer and where we are currently living in Bailey.  Kenny's older brother Austin survived the crash, which is nothing short of a miracle when you see the mangled pile of twisted metal that was their vehicle.  For some reason, Kenny lost control of his vehicle and crossed the median line into the oncoming traffic where their car was struck by an SUV and a pickup truck.  The accident happened on Tuesday.  Wednesday night is the weekly youth group meeting for our church, and I am so encouraged by how our church team rose to the occasion to reach out to a community in mourning.  They opened the meeting to any young people from the school who wanted to attend, and over 100 came.  Our neighbor Danny went to the meeting, and he's expressed an interest in visiting the youth group again with our girls.  As a result of one tragic accident, the youth group has almost tripled in size.  Yesterday, I would estimate the crowd at the funeral to be somewhere between 200 - 300 people. I was amazed at how many came.   I told our pastor Mike how proud I am of how he and the church staff have handled this crisis, knowing that for most of the young staff team this is their first encounter with death and grief.  Daphne and I are praying that the Lord would move in the midst of the intense sorrow to bring comfort and healing - and that He would use our church and the two of us somehow in His plan.  We know from experience that families who've lost loved ones are surrounded by love and care in the midst of, and immediately following the crisis... but all too often feel abandoned and forgotten after the "events" are over.  I hope and pray that this will not be true for these two families.

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"And Peter answered Him and said, 'Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.'  So He said, 'Come.'  And when Peter had come down out of the boat, he walked on the water to Jesus." 
             Matthew 15:22-33.

     I have been stuck on this passage for a couple of weeks now - there are so many things about it that fascinate me, and so many lessons about how Jesus intersects with our lives.  Think about this:  the disciples had just seen (and participated in) an incredible miracle: Jesus fed 10,000+ people with five loaves of bread and two fish.  The crowd was excited, everyone was talking about it... and then it says that Jesus MADE the disciples get into the boat.  In French it is even stronger - it says, "Jesus obliged them to get into the boat."  In the disciples' place I would have said to Jesus, "Why?  This is a great place to be!  It's too early to leave.  What will the crowd think of us if we get up and leave now?"  And how often does Jesus ask us to do something that makes NO SENSE at all?  Even more, He may ask us to do something that will look completely bizarre to those around us, and just like the disciples, our actions could be misunderstood or even criticized.  But to their credit, they obeyed anyway.  Jesus, who hadn't had any time alone to grieve the death of his cousin John, went up on the mountain to pray and to be comforted by His Father.  He stayed there until 3 a.m. 
     Of course, the disciples took the only available boat - so Jesus just walked on the water out to where they were.  Remember, it's 3 am, so it would have been very dark, and Jesus would have to walk very close to the boat to even be seen.  They freaked out (who wouldn't?), until Jesus spoke His reassuring words, "It's OK - it's me.  Don't be afraid".  Jesus came out to them in a manner they were not expecting, and He caught them by surprise.  I know those who knew and loved Kenny were not expecting to meet Jesus in the midst of this tragedy... but He showed up anyway.  In a big way.  I have a sense that this community will be forever marked by the events of this past week, and like the characters in the Narnia series would say, "Aslan is on the move." 
     So, in the midst of the fear and confusion of seeing Jesus walking on the water in the middle of the night, Peter does the OPPOSITE thing to what I would have done.  I would have begged Jesus to get into the boat and calm the storm, like He did the first time.  But not Peter - he asks Jesus to prove to him in some astounding way that it really WAS Him.... "If it's you, tell me to walk on the water to you."  You've got to love Peter's faith and courage.  So Jesus simply said, "Come" - so Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water.  I sense there's something in this story for me today.  Daphne and I keep finding ourselves faced with circumstances and challenges that cause us to be afraid, or to doubt whether this is really part of Jesus' plan.  Like Peter, I want to say, "OK Jesus; it looks like you, and it sounds like your voice - but the manner of your coming is freaking me out a little bit.  So show me in some definitive way that it's really you."  I wonder how He'll respond?

    

     On a final note, I've been working hard to get my website up and running, to display and sell my artwork and photography.  The address is www.wildlife-design.com if anyone is interested to see my latest pieces.  I am now in a great position to print high quality prints onto canvas or watercolor paper, and the results are truly stunning. Check it out and tell me what you think!