They were both dear friends. I'd known Bud for a little over two years. Mark, for only two months. Bud was 80, and his death was not unexpected given the extent of his cancer. Mark was only 56, and none of us were ready for him to die.
I met Bud and his wife Bev after Bev's single car accident on hwy 285. She had apparently blacked out on the road and ended up in a drainage ditch - disoriented and unaware of how close she'd come to death herself that day. I drove her home, met Bud (who I immediately liked) and decided that this "chance" encounter was arranged from above. For the past two years I've visited them on their 40 acre spread every other week or so to fill up their firewood shed, fix a tractor tire, unclog the fish pond drain - whatever needed doing. Or we would just sit and chat over a bottle of Coors (Bud had been a career Coors employee). Bud was in poor health when I met him - multiple cancers, knees that had long since given out after 30+ years of climbing on and off of Coors trains... a shadow of the larger-than-life man he'd once been. After several weeks of emergency room visits and hospital stays, Bud seemed to just give up. I was with him on the Friday that the hospice staff arrived. On Monday morning the hospice nurse went in to check on him and her eyes were drawn to the window by a pre-dawn shooting star streaking across the sky. When she turned back to Bud, he was gone. Bev wants the service to be held at the Kingdom Hall, since she is a devout Jehovah's witness. The only date the elder could give her was this coming Saturday- three weeks after Bud's death, and while I am out of the country for a crisis management training. No family members allowed to speak, no music, no slideshow. I offered the daughters the use of the country store to hold their own service for family and close friends, and to plan it the way they wanted. They agreed, and we arranged it for yesterday (Sunday) afternoon.
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Mark and Jaime started coming to our weekly meetings down in Bailey two months ago. Their daughter Missy invited them, and even though they live here in Conifer they came to our Wednesday evening service with her... and just kept coming back. Mark has been my right-hand man in planning the new floor in the store. He drew the floor plans up himself, and on his own contacted Home Depot to challenge them to help us with donated lumber and materials. We worked, and painted, and fixed stuff together - and all this while they're in the middle of building an addition on their own home! In a very short time I grew to love both Mark and Jaime; it doesn't take long to build a friendship when you share a common heart and the same vision.
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Yesterday I was on my way to church the phone call came: Mark, my new friend, had died during the night. What?? That's not possible! He wasn't even sick! There must be some mistake! I turned around and raced to their house. Jamie and the kids were all in a state of shock. Oh my God - this can't be happening! We had so much to do together, and Mark was such an integral part of everything. What in the world will I do without him? What will Jaime and Missy and her brothers do without him? In one night their entire lives are turned upside down - and with no time to prepare for life without Husband, and Dad, and Grandpa. We wept, and wept, and wept. What words can a pastor possibly give at such a time as this? My own grief after losing a second, dear friend left me emotionally numb.
Sometime in the blur of yesterday morning I remembered that I had a memorial service to do for Bud at 2 pm. I left Jaime and the family and drove back to Bailey, and with the help of two wonderful friends got the room cleaned up and ready just about the time Bud's family started arriving. Only then did it hit me that I hadn't prepared ANYTHING to say, and I'm supposed to lead the service. I prayed a quick SOS prayer, got up in front and totally winged it. God must have somehow made sense of the nonsense that came out of my mouth, because they all said it was wonderful.
Now, this morning, the reality of yesterday's events is beginning to hit me. Daph and I are heading back over to visit with Jaime and Missy and the family, then she'll drive me to the airport for my flight to Frankfurt. This is going to be an interesting week.
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