Monday, July 25, 2011

Lost in Translation

My suitcase apparently decided that it would like to do some more traveling around the U.S.  The last I heard it was visiting the Mormons in Salt Lake City, and might possibly head on over to Reno or Las Vegas before returning to Denver.  At least, that's what I THINK the guy in India said during the 45 minutes we spent together on the phone as I tried to figure out how a guy in Mumbai can help me find my suitcase:

India:  Hello, this is United Baggage Service.  My name is Rathmankanduskiingininda.  How can I helping you?

Me:  Ummm, Hi Rathmann...somethingorother.  My suitcase is missing.  It should be at Dulles, since my flight was cancelled yesterday.

India:  Wery good sir, I am sure ve can be of helping to you.  Can you please giving me your name?

Me:  Jim Myers

India:  Very good Mr Tyres, Let me just to be checking this for you.

Me:  No, it's MYERS

India:  Oh, golly gosh - so sorry Mr Fryers.  Now, do you have the POWOB number?

Me:  No, its not Fryers, its..... oh never mind.  Yes, the number is KD533P.

India:  OK, please being patient Mr Mypers.  Oh yes, I found it!  Your suitcase is living in Salt Lake City!

Me:  But I don't live in Salt Lake City.  I live near Denver, Colorado.

India:  You don't live in Salt Lake City?  Then why is your suitcase there?

Me:  Look, Mr  Rathmanuselessinformation, can you just send the bag back to Denver please?


India:  Thank you please Mr Calypers.  I will see what we can doing for you. (pause)  So, you are wanting this bag in Salt Lake City, correct?

Me: (very frustrated)  Can you just transfer me to the baggage claim desk in Denver.... please?


India:  So, so sorry Mr Fruitloops, I do not have that number.  In the meantime, I have sending a message to have your suitcase sent back to Washington for you.  Have a nice day.

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