Of Gnomes and Men

     One of the projects we have as a church is to place Gnomes in strategic places along the walking trail at our Ponderosa ranch.  The idea is to create our own version of "Where's Waldo?" only with Gnomes hidden in the forest.  I am going to make wooden signs to mark the spots on the trail where a Gnome is hiding, and the game is to see if you can spot every Gnome along the trail.  We have about a dozen different Gnomes: there's a UT Gnome (of course), and an Auburn Gnome (equal opportunity reigns around here). We also have a black Gnome in honor of Sterling, a Broncos Gnome, and one painted in the colors of one of our local high schools.  Well, I decided to try my hand at Gnome Painting, just in case I ever need a back-up vocation (there must be a "Gnome Painting" guild somewhere out there). The church had been given a couple of sets of slightly effeminate gnomes like those in the picture below.  I picked the one in the middle to transform into a "Redneck" gnome, and you can judge for yourself if I was successful or not.  The "Roll Tide" on the back of his shirt was for me - just a reminder that the real rednecks of the South are the Bama fans.  And that's a confederate flag on his hat, just in case you didn't notice.  For a brief moment there I considered painting him as a KKK member with a white hooded robe... then I remembered that Sterling is a lot bigger than me and decided against it.

"Just say NO to crack"

"Cleetus the Redneck Gnome"

________________________________________________


Changing topics drastically;  this morning I've been listening to some worship music while watching the sun rising over the mountaintops - what a glorious sight.  One song in particular always stirs my heart and my emotions because of the memories associated with it.  The song is called "I"m letting go" by Francesca Battistelli, and the following lines hold a special meaning for me:

My heart beats, standing on the edge
But my feet have finally left the ledge
Like an acrobat
There’s no turning back

chorus:

I’m letting go of the life I planned for me, and my dreams
Losing control of my destiny -
Feels like I’m falling and that’s what it’s like to believe.
So I’m letting go...
Giving in to your gravity
Knowing You are holding me
I’m not afraid

During the summer of 2009 this song was my constant companion, because it so clearly reflected our own journey of faith to leave France and the ministry we'd been a part of for 20+ years, and launch ourselves off of the cliff of comfort and familiarity - into the unknown.  Only there wasn't truly an Unknown, because God knew what He was planning for us all along.  It just felt like an abyss for us at the time.  But I'll never forget that summer - we've never before or since had so much time to ourselves... time to listen to God, to take long walks together, to pray and dream about our future.  The Lord had told us 11 months earlier (through a dramatic dream) that we were approaching the key turning point in our lives, but we could never have imagined that it would come through so much pain.  When God speaks, it is almost always in the context of a storm - and the storm for us was my own emotional burn-out and our disillusionment with the ministry.  I had given everything in my heart and soul to bring about positive change within the leadership team I served on - change in how we lead, in how we treat people, and in how we follow the leading of God's Spirit.  I finally reached the point on July 3 of that year where I said to Daphne, "I'm done".  I just couldn't fight one more day.  I was emotionally and physically drained.  That was the very thing God had been waiting for, and over the next two months God changed our plans and our vision forever.

We let go of the life and dreams we were holding on to, stepped off the ledge, and God filled the void with a whole new adventure we could never have imagined.  What a wild ride this has been.