Michael and I had a long chat yesterday, mostly about current issues in the church and how we're trying to deal with them. By "Issues" I mean "people" - because that's what growing a church is all about. We've thought about making a sign to put in the Llama Diner that says: "We're in the people business: Salvage and Repair." Michael likes to refer to our church as the "Island of misfit toys", from the animated Christmas movie we used to watch as kids. We've all got our problems, our blind spots, and our character issues. The question is - do we see them? I often pray that God will give me eyes to see my own "stuff", because I see people all around me who seem blissfully unaware of how their words and actions are wounding others, or how their opinion of themselves is so radically opposed to how others view them. When they finally leave the church - and they usually do - they will leave blaming the pastor, the staff, the youth group, the worship team... anyone but themselves. Then they'll move to the next church and start the process all over again - and the list of their "former" churches can number in the dozens and stretch back 30 years. What a tragedy. And the world watches how the church misbehaves - only adding fuel to the fire that all Christians are hypocrites and double-talkers.
So, much of our conversation yesterday focused on how well we are doing at finding a balance between love, compassion and long-suffering on the one hand, and our willingness to look someone in the eye and say "You are wrong and your life needs to change" on the other. There's a place for both, but I tend to favor the former and neglect the latter. Michael has been a great example to me in this area, as I've watched him over and over as he shares the "last 10%" with a misbehaving church member in a calm voice and without anger. What's the "last 10%"? It means being brutally honest with someone to show them the issues in their life that no one else has had the courage to address. We'll give one another the 90% that's easy, but very few of us are willing to risk a friendship or a church membership to tell someone what their problem REALLY is. I admire this in Mike. Of course, the reaction of the person on the receiving end can vary from stunned silence to getting up and walking out of the room and out of the church. In the short time we've been here I've seen quite a number slam the door on their way out; but I've also seen some of those same people come walking back with their hat in their hand and a broken, repentant heart to say, "I'm sorry. Can we talk?" Wow. A broken, repentant heart is a powerful, powerful tool in the hands of the Lord. I told someone a couple of days ago that one of the signs of a truly broken and repentant heart is an attitude of genuine gratitude - knowing that we deserve nothing, and receiving everything with a grateful heart.
As I drove home yesterday afternoon I turned on the radio to my favorite Christian station, and the DJ was reading from Ephesians 4:29, "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." Interesting that Paul says that our talk should help build others up "according to their needs", and that it should benefit those who listen - assuming that others are listening in to the conversation. Probably similar to when Paul confronted Peter in public about Peter's hypocrisy of fellowshipping with the gentiles when he was alone, but withdrawing from them when he was with the Jews.
When I heard the verse being read on the radio right after Michael and I had that conversation, I thought to myself, "OK Lord, I hear you."
No comments:
Post a Comment