Forecast of sleepless nights to come

 

This is the view from our living room window this morning - it's been snowing lightly all night, and it is still coming down.   

I was up all night last night; Daphne and I decided to see if I could wean myself off of the patches I've been taking for my Restless Leg Syndrome, because continuing on them is cost prohibitive.  I need to give my body several days to evacuate all the medication in my body - at which point I'll be able to make a real evaluation.  Until then, these next few days could mean a week from hell as I contemplate many sleepless nights.  I have to find out how much of RLS is psychologically based (and tied to my relative restlessness of "heart"), and how much is neurological.  

I spent much of the night last night in prayer for a number of issues that have been troubling my heart.  I found some resolution from the Lord around 1:30 this morning, at least He clarified in my mind what has been troubling me that I couldn't put my finger on.  I wish I could say I slept well after that point, but I didn't.  Maybe my back and legs will calm down during the day so I can catch up on my lack of sleep from last night.

Greatest Comback in Iron Bowl history

Just had to show some pictures from Auburn's last victory over Alabama in the Iron Bowl 2010.  Bragging rights have been nailed for the next 356 days, and Auburn moves to the SEC Championship game this coming Saturday against South Carolina.  

The Righteous Prevailed

Auburn defeated Alabama by ONE point yesterday - 28 to 27.  It was probably the greatest comeback in the history of the Iron Bowl (the annual match-up between these two teams).  It was sweetest because of the poetic justice, as Alabama fans had been mocking Auburn and Cam for weeks - not only because of the allegations swirling around Cam Newton, but because they were convinced Auburn could not win this year in Tuscaloosa.  It must be short-term amnesia for Alabama fans, because Auburn's come out on top  5 out of 6 times the two teams have played in "Tusca-loser". 

We put off our Christmas tree hunt yesterday because we needed to finish preparations to have the whole Journey team over for lunch, so maybe I can get the girls out this morning to find a tree.  It's still hard to believe we live in the mountains and we can cut down a Christmas tree on our own property.  There's no snow on the ground, so it should be easier to get a tree back to the house.  Speaking of snow, this has been a strange winter; we've had one (1) snowfall so far, and we're almost to December.  I haven't lived in Colorado long enough to know if this means we'll have a dry, cold winter - or if we're going to get dumped on when the snow finally comes.  We've got enough firewood to last us for a month or so, but I need to get out and cut down some more dead trees before the snow starts to pile up.  I love being outside working, but I don't have the stamina I used to have - and cutting firewood is an energy-intensive activity.  A couple weeks ago I finally decided to rent a hydraulic wood-splitter for the morning, and we split up all the cut wood we had around.  Sure beats the heck out of swinging an axe for 10 hours!

Me helping our quarterback off the field w a ruptured Achilles

 

 

 

 

 

 

Each Thanksgiving morning our church organizes the "Turkey Bowl" - a game of flag football for all the men and boys in the church.  In past years they've played with snow on the ground, but this year is was just plain cold - I think it was 20 degrees outside when we started the game. Around 35 men and boys showed up, so we did a lot of substitution so everyone got some playing time.  Our team lost our quarterback after only three or four plays when he ruptured his Achilles tendon (someone gets hurt every year), and we didn't have anyone else who could throw the football worth squat - so we got hammered 24 to 0.  While the point of the game is to have fun, some of the guys take football (even flag football) VERY seriously. There was one play that really made me laugh: one of the guys on our team who is not big but who is extremely competitive got knocked on his butt hard by Sterling - who's the only black guy on our staff, is very large, and who's just as competitive.  Our guy got up and called Sterling a name (edited out for the more sensitive readers) - and Sterling shot back, "It's time to put on your big-boy pants!"  By the end of the game everyone was laughing, and we had a great time.

_________________________

Last Wednesday evening I taught from John 14 and 16 about the role of the Holy Spirit in our lives.  When we're done with John I think I want to teach a series on the Spirit, or maybe teach through the book of Acts.  I've often asked the question - to myself and to others - what would happen if God suddenly removed His Spirit from the earth?  How long would it take us to notice that He isn't around anymore?  It's a hypothetical question, I know, because the Spirit isn't going anywhere.  But I guess my question springs out of both longing and confusion; longing, because I believe in my heart that God wants to do so much more among us than we're willing or have faith for Him to do, and confusion because it so often feels like we're satisfied to settle for so little of His presence and power today.  In preparing for Wednesday's message, I found myself reading excerpts from the life of George Muller (1805-1898).  Muller led an extraordinary life that was characterized by unbelievable faith - but he is often seen today as an eccentric man, or somewhat of a Christian "mystic".  I personally believe otherwise: I think Muller's faith and the dramatic (even unbelievable) answers to prayer he received are a model for all believers of what an intimate walk with God can and should look like.

This is how Muller described his experience in prayer:

"I seek at the beginning to get my heart into such a state that it has no will of its own in regard to a given matter. Nine-tenths of the difficulties are overcome when our hearts are ready to do the Lord's will, whatever it may be. When one is truly in this state, it is usually but a little way to the knowledge of what His will is.
"Having done this, I do not leave the result to feeling or simple impressions. If so, I make myself liable to great delusions.
"I seek the will of the Spirit of God through or in connection with the Word of God. The Spirit and the Word must be combined. If I look to the Spirit alone without the Word, I lay myself open to great delusions also.
"Next I take into account providential circumstances. These plainly indicate God's will in connection with His Word and Spirit.
"I ask God in prayer to reveal His will to me aright.
"Thus through prayer to God, the study of the Word and reflection, I come to a deliberate judgment according to the best of my ability and knowledge, and if my mind is thus at peace, and continues so after two or three more petitions, I proceed accordingly. In trivial matters and transactions involving most important issues, I have found this method always effective."

The Elk Lodge

Elk Tracks: it takes an expert eye to spot them

I spent last Friday and Saturday hunting with a couple of friends up near Grand Lake, Colorado.  I fully intended to come back with enough elk meat to fill our big freezer for the next year.  Instead the elk are having a party,  pointing at my footprints in the snow and telling elk jokes about the safest place in the forest being as close as possible to Jim when he's carrying a rifle. I'm sure that they were playing the elk-version of "Look at me - I'm imitating a tree". There is a positive note, however; I tracked my first elk in the snow (actually several elk) for over an hour - through a creek, into green patch of fir trees, up a hill and finally to the summit of a ridge - all in knee-deep snow.  When I reached the top of the hill, I  realized I'd been following elk tracks all right, but ...  the WRONG WAY.  You'd think it would be easy to determine which way the animals are heading - but they're sneaky, and sometimes they walk backwards just to keep you guessing.  They left plenty of poo and pee along the path too, just to convince me they were around the corner - when in reality they were all back at the Elk Lodge, sitting by the fire, drinking beers and toasting each other.  

I'd just had my ATV "repaired" the day we left, and I was looking forward to some awesome trail rides thanks to my four-wheel-drive wonder.  We got as far up the road as we could in the truck, and then two of us jumped on the Quad to head to the hunting area.  We rode about two miles, and the engine died.   We did manage to get the ATV back to the truck, and I'm grateful for that.  Pushing an 800 pound machine through the snow would not have been my idea of a good time. 

Much to my joy and delight, I found out when I got home that while I was wandering aimlessly in the snow drifts, my neighbor shot an elk about 150 yards from my back deck.  There were only 40 or 50 of them to choose from, so I felt sorry for him.  Now I know that as soon as we arrived at Grand Lake, the elk herd hopped on a bus and headed down to Conifer to soak up the sunshine.  At least Brian broke up the party.


There is more to being a Pastor than hunting, believe it or not.  There's also cutting down trees, splitting firewood, and building decks.  Seriously though, our church is growing by leaps and bounds.  All three of our weekend services are getting full, and we calculated that we have somewhere between 350-380 regular attenders or members.  For a church up in the mountains, that's actually incredible.  I'm still teaching the Wednesday night service, and I'm loving it.  We've reached  John chapter 14, and tomorrow evening I'll cover one of my favorite topics: the role of the Holy Spirit. I've found over the years that the Holy Spirit is the most misunderstood of the three persons of the Trinity, and we've given Him all kinds of strange characteristics, or we attribute people's bizarre behavior to His influence.  Should be fun!

One of the ways we're trying to draw more people to the church is through a 15-second ad that we've put in two movie theaters down in Denver.  I'll add it to the blog so you can see it.  I got to help shoot the ad, and it was hilarious.  When we started filming, the buffalo were 100 yards away on the opposite side of the fence.  However, their curiosity got the better of them, and by the time we were done filming several of them had come almost up to the fence.  I think the fake buffalo head was what did the trick.  The voice you'll hear at the end is Daphne - just in case you didn't recognize her. 
                                                                                                

I bleed orange and blue!

OK, I'll admit that I'm a die-hard Auburn fan.  But enough is enough!  I've never seen so much hype, lies, exaggerations and false reports about one football player in my life!  Just about every news report I've read about Auburn's star quarterback Cameron Newton has subsequently proven to be false.  The whole story that was leaked about him getting caught for cheating at Florida and almost expelled has now been denied by the UF Student Affairs Committee.  So, he didn't cheat.  Then the story came out that the NCAA was going to suspend Cam "within 3-4 hours"... just how exactly would someone know that kind of info?  Of course, that didn't happen either.

Here's what I believe is going on:  Somebody- actually, a lot of somebodys - has it in for Auburn.  Just when the Tigers are on the verge of winning another SEC championship, and possibly playing for the national championship, all these stories suddenly "emerge".  The fact is, these allegations about Cam being "shopped" to the highest bidding college have been known since January.  These stories coming out now are a case of pure, unadulterated bad blood towards Auburn.  I just feel sorry for Cam and his family at this point.  Even if they did seek money for Cam to play at Mississippi State or Auburn, that fact has to be proven by a REAL investigation, and there's no way it could be completed until next year sometime.  I'm not saying Auburn is beyond wrongdoing; I'm just saying I'm sick of the hype and rumors that are flying around, and someone should be taken to task for starting them.  In fact, the person who spread the rumor about Cam cheating at Florida has committed a felony crime, and I sure hope they're caught.

Enough ranting.  We had our first good snow last night - only a couple of inches, but enough for me to figure out that my ATV needs some serious attention.  Our wood stove downstairs is working like a charm - heats the basement like a cozy furnace, but the upstairs is still cold.  Got to figure that problem out before we get some SERIOUS cold weather.

At last night's mid-week service we had 26 people - that's a record!  We held a prayer meeting for all interested parties at 6 pm (before our service at 7), and we had quite a few people from other churches who came.  The purpose was to pray for the families of all those who've died in car accidents on Hwy 285 in the last two months, and to pray against any spiritual powers that may be involved in the recent series of tragic deaths.  After the prayer time I spoke from John 11 on the topic, "Why bad things happen to good people".  There were two main things I focused on:  First, that Jesus chose to delay His arrival (and risk being misunderstood and misjudged) until after Lazarus was dead for four days.  Interesting fact about first century Jewish culture:  mourners would often remain near the tomb of their loved ones until after the third day, because they believed the spirit of the dead person would stay near the body until the fourth day.  After that, they were considered to be really and truly "dead".  It makes more sense, then, why Jesus waiting until that critical day to raise Lazarus from the grave.  My point was that God often chooses to delay answering our prayers in order to accomplish something more significant in our lives.  The second point was this:  in a personal tragedy or crisis, Jesus will meet us wherever we are - emotionally or spiritually.  He dealt with Martha in a very different way than how He responded to Mary.  Martha came wanting answers - rational, theological answers.  Mary came to pour out her heart to the one she felt had forgotten her.  In both cases, Jesus didn't condemn or judge - He just met them at their level with a rational discussion or with tears.

Interesting Day

It's evening now in the Colorado mountains.  We've got a fire going downstairs in the wood stove, and the sausages and "mash" are cooking (fine British cuisine).

My day didn't start nearly as well as it ended.  Last night at our Wednesday night worship and Bible study we had four who attended (not counting the church staff who were there).  For the first three weeks the numbers of those who came increased significantly each week.  But for the last two weeks we've dropped down to just a handful.  I found myself wondering during the night - when I should have been sleeping - if the problem is me or my teaching style?  I got up before 5 a.m., and around 7 took a long walk around the block by myself to work through my feelings of discouragement.  Our "block" is 2 miles around, so I had some time to think and pray as I walked.  I was definitely feeling down, and I spent the first 1.5 miles just telling the Lord about what was going through my mind and heart.  By the time I was within sight of our driveway again, my heart felt a little lighter.  I sensed that God was confirming to me that this first year of our involvement with The Journey Church is more about what God wants to do IN us, than about anything He might want to accomplish THROUGH us.  We've been given a gift of time: time to watch and learn, time to get to know the church team, time to allow others to know us, and time just to read, pray, exercise, etc.   I guess I hadn't thought of it quite that way, but it did make me feel better.

I spent the morning preparing and printing an important update that we've sent to all of our financial partners.  It seemed like it was finally time for an extensive update on our family and our future plans, and that took me most of the morning to print, stuff and mail.  Our friends Bob and Diane joined us for lunch at the diner, and I was reminded again of how grateful I am for the ever-increasing circle of good friends God has given us here in Conifer.  I know I speak for Daphne too when I say we feel rich in friendships and relationships, and some of the pain and wounds from our departure from France are beginning to heal.  Three days ago we commemorated the one-year anniversary of our departure from France.  It seems impossible that it has already been a year -- but then, when I think about all we've been through this past year it really is amazing where we've ended up.

Around 2 this afternoon Michael told me that a news reporter from Fox 31 was coming to do an interview with someone from the church related to the abnormally high number of deaths we've had on our stretch of highway 285.  Mike doesn't enjoy giving TV interviews, and he asked me if I could represent the church.  I did the interview - my first one for TV.  The reporter asked a bunch of questions about how we feel as a church about the recent accidents, including the one that happened right in front of our church on Sunday morning.  It should be possible to see it tomorrow if you go to their website:  www.kdvr.com  and look up the news archive from last night related to accidents on Hwy 285.

We ended the day with a counseling appointment with a couple from church that went great - I love watching God at work in people's lives doing what He does best;  healing and putting broken things back together.

Post Note:  Here's the link to the news story - http://www.kdvr.com/videobeta/84edb748-e13d-4493-b9be-243da2c46fce/News/Highway-285-accidents

(the reporter got it slightly wrong by saying I'm "the" pastor of The Journey Church)

third fatal accident in four days

I just heard the news that a third fatal accident has occurred on highway 285 that runs through Conifer.  This time a vehicle crossed the median and hit a Sheriff's deputy head-on.  The other driver was apparently killed, and the deputy has been airlifted to a Denver hospital.  The day after the fatal accident in front of our church, a single car accident occurred about five miles down the same road and a woman was killed.  This makes three fatal accidents in four days.  Our pastor believes there is a spiritual aspect that at least partially explains the incredible statistic of traffic deaths on this 25 mile stretch of highway - from the bottom of the mountain to Pine Junction this section of road will see one death per mile, per year.  To compare, the next 25 mile section will have an average of one death per year period - on a much darker, windier part of the highway.  There is no way to explain this difference as this section of highway is four lanes, fairly well lit and well maintained.  Weather has not been a factor in any of the accidents.  This is just bizarre.


On a lighter note, the Trunk or Treat outreach we did on Sunday evening was a huge success.  We had tons of people from the community who came with their kids - we lost count somewhere around 100 adults.   We decided to decorate our pickup truck as "Booger Holler", since no one here had yet met my alter-ego "Billy Bob".  It was hilarious; there were members of our church who walked past us three times without ever recognizing who I was. A picture is worth a 1000 words, so here's a sampling of The Journey's finest:

Who's that handsome devil?

Danny is 17 - he shaved his head for the occasion

The Dragon's Head shot candy across the parking lot - it was a big hit

notice Jacqueline's teeth

In the Blink of an Eye

I will never forget yesterday.  I'm still processing what happened, and it helps to write some thoughts down.

Yesterday, being Halloween, was a big day for our church; we had not only our normal two morning services, but we'd planned a big "Trunk or Treat" event in our parking lot as another way to connect with people from this community.  We had just started the first service - around 9 a.m. - when one of the guys on our team ran inside and said an accident had just happened on the highway in front of our building.  I grabbed one of the firefighters who's a member of our church and ran outside.  From the balcony I could see two smoking cars in the middle of the road and some people running around.  Later on, I found out that at the moment of impact one of the vehicles flipped completely over, landed back on its wheels, and then burst into flames.  When I got across the street I saw a man emptying a fire extinguisher on what was left of the engine of the first car - a jeep with the front end completely caved-in right up to the dashboard. As I got to the car a man was kicking at the passenger side window as hard as he could, but it wouldn't break.  By now I could see the second vehicle - also an SUV - the front end also destroyed by what was clearly a high-speed, head-on collision.  This was the most horrendous accident I'd ever witnessed first-hand.

For some reason when I first got to the scene I thought the passengers had survived and were already out of the their cars.  And then it hit me like a ton a bricks: they were all still trapped in their vehicles, and precious seconds were ticking by.  Time has a way of slowing down in the middle of an crisis, and the whole event I'm describing probably lasted only five minutes - though in the heat of the moment it felt like an eternity.  I looked in the window of the passenger side of the jeep and saw the blond hair of a young boy, down low between the window and the dashboard.  He wasn't moving, and I couldn't imagine how he could survive such a violent impact.  Those who'd stopped to help were trying to break the window to save the boy, but it was like it was made of steel and not glass.  The driver's side of the Jeep was smashed beyond recognition, and at first glance I couldn't even see the person who'd been driving.  She must have died the very instant the two cars collided, in the blink of an eye.  I wondered if she'd even had time to react before the impact, as there were no skid marks anywhere on the highway.  About that time one of the men standing there grabbed a large rock and smashed the passenger window in.  Doug, one of the firemen in our church, put his hand on the boy's neck but couldn't detect a pulse.  They smashed in the back window and reached in to check the woman's pulse, but as I feared she was dead.  I thought, "Oh God, there are no survivors".

There was a brief moment - maybe only a few seconds - when Doug and I were standing next to the passenger window while the other guys scrambled for a tool to pry the door open.  On an impulse I put my hand on the boy's head and started praying that God would intervene supernaturally and save this little boy's life.  The passenger door was jammed shut by the impact, so there was no easy way to get him out.  Doug put his fingers on the boy's neck again, and this time he felt a pulse.  "He's alive!" he yelled, and we all jumped into action to get the door open while there was still time.  One of the volunteer firefighters had brought a pry-bar and a pick axe - so while Doug supported the boy's head and neck, the rest of us heaved with all our might to open the door.  It wouldn't budge.  I was feeling more and more desperate as each second passed, knowing the boy could die as we tried in vain to open the door.  We pushed, pulled, hammered -  but the front door was jammed tight behind the rear one.  By this time a firetruck had arrived, and with it the pneumatic tools that were needed to cut through the metal.  It probably took them another three minutes - even with the power tools - to wrench the door open .  During all this time the little boy hadn't moved.  They put a neck brace on him, and as they lifted him onto the gurney his eyes opened.  I felt a surge of hope that perhaps he would make it after all,  and I was so grateful for the rescue workers who knew exactly what to do.

I walked around to the other vehicle and saw four or five emergency personnel trying to save the life of the second driver who was lying on the ground next to his car.  They were trying to get a breathing tube down his throat, and I wondered if the boy would be the only survivor of this terrible accident.   I walked back to where several people were sitting on the guardrail, and asked if they'd witnessed the accident.  A young woman in her twenties said that they were in the car behind the jeep, and they watched in horror as the SUV drove right across the median and into the oncoming traffic.  It was a bright, sunny day - no ice, no rain, and only a few cars on the road.   What could explain the actions of the other driver?  Was he drunk?  Did he pass out, or fall asleep at the wheel? 

Two Flight for Life helicopters arrived to evacuate the boy, and eventually the driver of the second car.  This is a small mountain community, and I knew it wouldn't take long to find out that someone in our church knew the identity of one or all of the three victims.  As it turned out, the woman who died was the secretary and receptionist of the Baptist Church down the road, and she and her son were obviously on their way there when the accident happened.  Many of those in our church knew her and her three sons, so the crisis on the road turned into a minor crisis at church as our folks realized what had happened.

How can you explain such a bizarre accident?  I can't explain it, but even before I knew the identity of the woman driving the Jeep, I sensed that God was somehow in the middle of this terrible tragedy - not that He caused it, but in His sovereignty He allowed it to happen. There was hardly any traffic on the road because it was a Sunday morning.  Just a second earlier or later, and the driver of the red SUV would have missed the Jeep.  But he didn't miss them, and now there are three boys without their mother.  My one comfort is that they are part of a community of believers who can surround them and care for them; they are not alone.   I couldn't get to sleep last night, and as Daphne and I talked about the experience I told her how comforting it is to me to know that we, too, have a church family (not to mention my sister and her family down in Denver) who would do anything to help if we were the ones to suffer a similar tragedy.  I found my mind imagining how I would feel if it had been Daphne in that car, or one of my girls... and I literally had to put the images out of my mind.  I got out of bed and went into the living room to start writing this blog entry.  As I wrote, I found my emotions bubbling up, and I ended up calling one of my friends who had also been with me trying to help rescue the boy.  I just needed to talk to someone to help me process what had happened.  We both agreed that we did everything we could humanly do to help in that situation, and we would do it again today if we had to.

I finally got to sleep somewhere around 1 a.m. this morning.